eclipse Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I seek the fruit trees intimacy he doesn't seek mine, he needs water my soul needs the wine made from the treasures he flaunts on his vine. The fruit tree his dreams are too deep with an unclosed eye he watches me and his treasures as he sleeps. About me he dreams watching time steal my history as I become an echo in its slipstream and I will not steal his fruit as time steals from me, I will wait for the wind to shake the tree as the winds of time strip me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 the metaphors work well throughout the poem. the ending is perfect. very crisp and flowed with a beautiful sweat cadance. thank you. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 The speaker is aware of his needs, and he is also aware of the tree's needs. Even so, there is a charming naivety on his part; he will wait for the fruit to fall due to natural causes, not pick it off the tree. It's almost like when a child believes that we wait for an animal to die of old age before we eat it. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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