dr_con Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Hero Its not when you stop the knife or hold her after the fact or when the rattle has rung And the snow falls around crying so hard there is no breath left Or when I sacrificed everything to make a few years more not gallant illusions that end In emergency rooms cold hallways night regrets But over a cup of tea counter to a hummingbirds bright or a gathering dark just as it is. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Doc, the first two stanzas are good enough to make my neck and scalp tingle. I lost the sense of what was being proposed in the closing lines, but still like the texture of language and the images. Thanks, - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 It's a wonderful, personal portrayal that puts me there with you, wanting to buy you tea or a quart of Jack Daniels. The personal agony seeps through the more than tough decisions and the loneliness after. Sorry if I misinterpreted or interfered. Franklin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 This profound piece left me thinking that each individual's destiny is pre-ordained by their own ability. That whatever our function in life, whatever decisions there are to make, great or small; we touch and influence the lives of others in countless ways. Perhaps the only comprehensible means of dealing with such profusion is to find the time to enjoy simple things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Agree with Geoff, but the simplest things are so complicated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Words are missing ... transitions don't smoothly occur. Pardon me, for I often like your poetry. But ... in addition, this is NOT a sonnet! Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I'm with Franklin on this one, Juris. It's compact and personal, and, as such, it's hard hitting. I think the bit of ambiguity in the last verse is intentional ... and beneficial to the poem. It's almost as if the writer is holding back. He's gone far enough. Besides, by this time the heartfelt reader (and maybe the writer) is already crying and probably wouldn't be able to handle more. Even so, it's expressionistic and functions expressionistically. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 Thank you all- and I appreciate all the feed-back- even the criticism, because in a way this was written to undo the blockage so, I could write "Well of Memory"- It worked and WOM was written, so I'm glad it worked for some of you, and glad it was only a partial poem for the rest... Thank you all for playing with me;-) Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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