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Poetry Magnum Opus

Just lately..


Benjamin
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Just lately my whole thoughts are turning

to words I wish I'd said: before

your out bound ship was churning

its white wake to some distant shore.

I should have listened to the anchor

and chain: the groans, the squeals, the rancour

of inferred pain. “This is a time

that cares not for a lover's mind!”

For without you a bleakness enters

my life; a creeping fog to tease

and cling like Spanish moss on trees.

And all our might-have-beens are centred

in its grey form, set to release

ghosts of missed opportunities.

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Wow! First the poem is beautiful. The extended metaphor, the imagery, mood and excecution of the piece are wonderfully created. You even managed to incorporate the femine / masculine end word patterns of the form which in English is often ignored. Would you mind if I used this poem as an example of the Onegin stanza in the research section? I have already created a link but I would love to include your poem on the page, not everyone follows the links and my example of the form does not master the femine/ masculine end pattern. Your poem is so much better than mine.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Thankyou for your kind review Tink. You are most welcome to use my poem as an example of Onegin stanza in the research section. I'm flattered and also pleased that you like it. B..

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I never knew about that particular rhyme scheme. I just said to myself, "Self", as I read it, "this is quality structure."

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David W. Parsley

Hi Ben, your piece rouses my curiosity about the form. Nice sound movement takes the interplay of metaphor between chill, pain, and haunted reget. Interesting start with the ironic description of more "whole" thoughts with which to contemplate the incomplete.

 

Thanks,

- Dave

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