Tinker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Betrayal Ripped by yellowed calcified nails, my breast is shredded, split open, leaving a pulsing heart naked, vulnerable to the bony gnarled fingers that slide in and grasp to twist and snatch without conscience the slick surface oozing crimson. How do I heal without a heart?-------------------- --- Judi Van Gorder Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Totally painful to read. Horrific. Yet powerful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Surreal, Tinks. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Thanks Jonathan and Joel, I was experimenting with concrete images in metaphor. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi Tink, You use such visceral images with great effect. Some brilliant details: "calcified nails, slick surface oozing crimson" Although the images are physical, one imagines the wounding to be of the spirit. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Tink very original expressions you use in this poem. I like it. the ending line I love the most How do I heal without a heart? Much enjoyed Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Betrayal from the victim's point of view ... with a gothic twist! You have given me an idea for an exercise: write a poem which presents the viewpoint of another. I guess the way to start would be to ask oneself how one would feel if the shoe was on the other foot in any given situation. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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