Betrayal

[Tinker]

Betrayal

Ripped by yellowed calcified nails,
my breast is shredded, split open,
leaving a pulsing heart naked,
vulnerable to the bony
gnarled fingers that slide in
and grasp to twist and snatch
without conscience the slick
surface oozing crimson.
How do I heal without a heart?
-------------------- --- Judi Van Gorder

[pawn shop]

Totally painful to read.

Horrific.

Yet powerful.

[JoelJosol]

Surreal, Tinks.

[Tinker]

Thanks Jonathan and Joel, I was experimenting with concrete images in metaphor.

 

~~Tink

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tink,

 

You use such visceral images with great effect. Some brilliant details:

 

"calcified nails, slick surface oozing crimson"

 

Although the images are physical, one imagines the wounding to be of the spirit.

 

goldenlangur

[Aleksandra]

Tink very original expressions you use in this poem. I like it.

 

the ending line I love the most

How do I heal without a heart?

Much enjoyed

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

Betrayal from the victim's point of view ... with a gothic twist!

 

You have given me an idea for an exercise: write a poem which presents the viewpoint of another. I guess the way to start would be to ask oneself how one would feel if the shoe was on the other foot in any given situation.

 

Tony