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Poetry Magnum Opus

Like the Early Sun


JoelJosol
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I remember catching the glow of her eyes

like the early sun beaming across a cloudless sky

for miles. Both eyes squinting from the way

her cheeks would rise, their lines shooting

like sun rays to meet mine.

 

I remember the warmth from her glance,

with my skin turn golden under a blue sky.

I do not wish to look away, letting light

fall all over while it lasts, a lovely,

transient thing.

 

I remember when all

were mine.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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goldenlangur

Hi JoelJosol,

 

I love how you close this poem - from an intensity of details of intimacy to a sense of loss.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Very emotional and poetical expressed poem Joel. I love this poem. the lines are very well ordered and all poem goes in a spirit of love and feelings.

 

Nostalgic is included too on voiceless way.

 

Wonderful done

 

aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Beautiful and heartfelt Joel! From the details of closeness to the loss mentioned in the end was wonderful.

 

Really enjoyed. And beautiful title too.

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This is beautiful Joel. I ditto the above comments. . .

 

I do have one suggestion, I think that the word "those" in the penultimate line is unnessary (with the word "all" the reader instinctively assumes you refer to the above images) and to my ear the word "those" is clunky and unpoetic. But if you have to keep it, grammaticaly it should be "of those". Just another perspective....

 

You know I have to look hard to come up with stuff like that,icon_redface.gif I should have left it at ... "beautiful Joel", which it is, just like it is. icon_biggrin.png

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Hi Tink, thanks for that extra effort. I learned something there.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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I agree with the others. For me, the last line effectively closes out the image of the early sun beaming across a cloudless sky/for miles, an image which lingers like a photon in my mind's eye.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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