eclipse Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 A swallows moonlit flight thrills a lake unveils the moons echoed lamp giving me sight of visions rapture distills. A dream lit canvas empties and fills with visions of a swallow obscured by fog and damp a swallows moonlit flight thrills. I see a bat silhouetted against moon rills and I am sealed with twilight stamp giving me sight of visions rapture distills. And into the day night trills as the twilight sounds it's vamp a swallows moonlit flight thrills. On the second night a clouded sky kills moonlight as the lake relights its lamp giving me sight of visions rapture distills. And as the night time sky refills A solitary drifter leaves camp A swallows moonlit flight thrills giving me sight of visions rapture distills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Wonderful mood and image. I could ask for a tweaking of the diction (a bit stilted), especially in the repeating lines of this villanelle. Nice to see your experiments in form continuing, Barry. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 this is amazing write Barry. i enjoyed reading this. i am fascinated with swallows to begin with and, this poem really captures this beautiful creature's essence. Victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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