Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus



Recommended Posts

Countless brown needles trample everywhere:

and pine cones rolling through a hectic street

can't tempt wise pets into the wind-whipped rain.


Both old and young cling on to hats and skirts:

try not to run as gusts of flying leaves

lash prams and twist umbrellas fragile frames.


And flooded gutters where small children dare

to splash, oblivious of sodden feet,

are playgrounds, to their guardians chagrin.


The Cypress Trees and Olive Grove, wet streaks

on a shop window; prematurely lit

with fairy lights to wish time on again.


And suddenly it's such a long way home

with wintry faces from old maps to come.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is meant to be a Trilonnet. A fourteen line poem consisting of four tercets and a couplet end but the edit facility won't recognize the spaces between the verse lines for some reason. The rhyme scheme is abc/abc/abc/abc/dd. This form can also be written in iambic tetrameter and/or with the rhyme scheme abc/cba/abc/cba/dd.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley

An interesting form, Ben. Nice capture of the dampness and sense of participant vitality, onset of a glad season with the nip of peril relegated to the periphery.


I have experienced the same problem with getting the editor to acknowledge breaks between verses. I usually insert a line with a single period, then color the punctuation white, so it doesn't show. Maybe Tinker or another expert can provide better guidance.


P.S. Watch for the rhyme word, "prams" - may have slipped off the slant cliff. Also, I believe "along" is intended to be "a long"?



- Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the spacing tip Dave-- also for your keen eye and useful input. I posted this 'diary' piece somewhat hastily though will undoubtedly revise it in due course. The weather here is shocking at the moment so it will serve as a small reminder of what I was thinking at the time. The form is attributed to Shelley Cephas. Ben.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.