goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 What is the colour of fear; Crimson eviction from the womb or the shadow-less grey of oblivion? goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi gl, I just posted a poem at the Connection Freedom that almost seems my answer to the question posed by your poem. "crimson eviction" almost blotched my screen with red when I read it. That is powerful stuff. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 hi gl, very effective short poem. i love the whole poem. very stimuliting. whats good about this poem is its metered perfectly. every line flowed so beautiful. i love the imagery int his line. wow very tasteful. Crimson eviction from the womb and the last line is the truth about child being birthed into this world. just a perspective since you mentioned the womb in the second line is all. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Goldenlangur, this is good lapidary way of writing. very powerful and moving. I think the both solutions makes sense of the colour of fear. And the last line, the third one is simply perfect. It is very touching. Thank you for sharing my friend Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi Tink, It's amazing how you poem answers this one perfectly! From birth to the wilderness of losing one's way in life, fear dogs. I'm grateful that you found the image of birth here, startlingly appropriate. Thank you very much for your perceptive read and also the link to your poem, which I do remember reading in th e old forum. It is a privilege to be linked to your work. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi Victor, You've made my week with this remark!: Larsen M. Callirhoe wrote: , ...this poem is its metered perfectly. victor For someone like myself who knows nought about poetry techniques, I'm very pleased that you found the poem worked. A big thank you goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi Aleksandra, What an original and indeed elegant word to use - "lapidary"! I went googling to see how this might refer to my piece and I'm truly grateful for your fulsome praise of my writing effort. It's gratifying that this shorter style, I'm experimenting with, seems to work. Thank you very much. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 What is the colour of fear;Crimson eviction from the womb or the shadow-less grey of oblivion? It's a good question, Golden. You chose two effective metaphors for fear. I think that these days I fear the crimson eviction from the womb (into the world) more. I do sometimes long for the blackness of sleep, but the color gray does not make death so appealing; it somehow imparts a sense of isolation and unrest. Now that's something to fear! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hi Tony, You've put your finger on it: "isolation" Thank you for your perceptive read. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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