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Poetry Magnum Opus

Brumal (Revived)


fdelano
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Brumal

 

 

Light snow coats spiraled webs

hitched to beds of dormant shrubs,

cold-storage for wayward prey,

bound to wait for spring

 

is not the word

for an aged mind

that looks back

to warm wafts of summer

 

breezes on decks

filled with friends

and airy conversation

without a thought of fall

 

and recover

with leaves of old

memories that fade

with ongoing winter

 

 

fdharden--2008

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An excellent balance of the physical and philosophical--- of human feeling engaged through nature. I particularly like the well-placed contrast of st.3. A far cry from prey trapped in the webs of st. 1. For fluency, impact and relative assonance-- consider for your opening line perhaps-- “Light snow coats spiralled webs” Much enjoyed. Geoff

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Done, friend Geoff, and you are right about improving the flow. Also deleted the "the" in last stanza. Thank you. Paco

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