Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

lost in space


Benjamin
 Share

Recommended Posts

I enter with an open mind

oblivious of all mankind

and turn old pages wrought with words

that lift and soar like golden birds

amongst the mountain's misty rings

where echelons of gods and kings

look down upon a world of men

and know that I will come again--

because the longest highest flight

must end as morning follows night:

a-wonder one long safely dead

has found a way into my head

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just from the title I was waiting for, "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" :)

 

Loved the last couplet VERY much:

 

to wonder that someone long dead

has found a way into my head

 

Excellent use of near rhyme in first couplet; skill I don't have.

 

Dreamy, mystical, reminiscent, without being maudlin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Keep the couplets going, Ben!

Ahem ...

 

I enter with an open mind

oblivious of all mankind

and turn old pages wrought with words

that lift and soar like golden birds

amongst the mountain's misty rings

where echelons of gods and kings

look down upon a world of men

and know that I will come again --

because the longest highest flight

must end as morning follows night:

a wonder a man long safely dead

has found his way into my head!

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks DCM1 It's something I played around with for an hour yesterday after reading "Going downhill on a bicycle" (Henry Charles Beeching) to my grandson.

 

Brendan. Thanks for your suggestions. I think this is worth spending a little more time on. B :smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.