Benjamin Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I enter with an open mind oblivious of all mankind and turn old pages wrought with words that lift and soar like golden birds amongst the mountain's misty rings where echelons of gods and kings look down upon a world of men and know that I will come again-- because the longest highest flight must end as morning follows night: a-wonder one long safely dead has found a way into my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Just from the title I was waiting for, "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" :) Loved the last couplet VERY much: to wonder that someone long dead has found a way into my head Excellent use of near rhyme in first couplet; skill I don't have. Dreamy, mystical, reminiscent, without being maudlin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Keep the couplets going, Ben! Ahem ... I enter with an open mind oblivious of all mankind and turn old pages wrought with words that lift and soar like golden birds amongst the mountain's misty rings where echelons of gods and kings look down upon a world of men and know that I will come again -- because the longest highest flight must end as morning follows night: a wonder a man long safely dead has found his way into my head! Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Thanks DCM1 It's something I played around with for an hour yesterday after reading "Going downhill on a bicycle" (Henry Charles Beeching) to my grandson. Brendan. Thanks for your suggestions. I think this is worth spending a little more time on. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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