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Poetry Magnum Opus

It Took Me Awhile To Catch What He Said


PDgb
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In my hate, I have not written that word that is

 

the angry butt of a cigerette,

 

choking, clutched in hands to young to hold

 

but old enough to break, at the wrinkled gaze

 

of the snow and rain, that filled,

 

then overflowed and drenched my heart

 

and eyes see very little in the fog ahead.

 

My tearing windows are trying desperately

 

to hold their place.

 

My chest is set.

 

My hands are hard.

 

They have been this way,

 

And will be, for quite some time now.

GBrenton

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clutched in hands to young to hold

 

but old enough to break,

 

That's a mighty powerful line. It should be "TOO young to hold", but still that is a mighty powerful line. "Wrinkled gaze" and "tearing windows" are nice as well. Lots of emotion here.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

very emotive heartstrung piece. i like the images you painted with your words. nice job. enjoyed.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good choice of title. It's important to this work. I like it all, but my favorite parts are the line where "eyes see very little in the fog ahead" and the last four lines. It took a while to catch what he said; it'll take a while for the fog to lift.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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