Billydo Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Umbilical, eh? Umbilical, Aye! Umbilical A, umbilical I - pin a silicon chip on to my eye; drown me deep in aqueous humour metered out with bleeping tumour. Make me mobile in a padded room suck me in to the world wide womb - first flush for girls with silicone tits now fame is a fool, measured by hits; dumb doses of praise, reel-in, reliance; experts abound, regardless of science, a slippery slim skin of soapy scum, like rainbows in oil. And when all is done there'll be nothing deep, that's what they cry: umbilical, eh? Umbilical, aye! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Hi Mike, It's been awhile since I read your work and it seems you've honed your writing to a point of perfection here. As ever, wonderful sonority both in use of alliterations and the echoing rhymes: "I, eye, deep, bleep(ing), tumour, humour, room womb, "make me mobile, wide world womb, fame is a fool" to quote a few. I like the play on "world wide womb/web" There's a darker ironic note to this - a sense of the narrator musing on contemporary use of the internet and technology from monitoring birth through illness, to dating, buying (eBay?) and perhaps seeking "experts" who have no scientific qualification and knowledge but will advise, sell a person anything on the internet? Everything seems possible and yet you reflect poignantly, perhaps this virtual world of endless choices and possibilities is just that : "a slippery slim skin of soapy scum, like rainbows in oil." As fleeting as a bubble. The imagery here is truly superb! Have been known to get the wrong end of the stick in my reading. But it's wonderful to read your work again. I even counted the lines to see if your poem was a sonnet like Muldoon's - contemporary and a great twist to the form? goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 hi billydo, i have to agree with goldenlangur here. you used some very interesting imagery to a subject that brings some to vomit in my opinion or they wonder at the amazements of the human anatomy lol. thanks for the read. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Hello Mike, Glad to see you back and to read your work again. Interesting poem anatomic . this remind me of one project what I was working on - the anatomy of the eye so aqueous humour is very familiar to me as a word ( I am far from that field ) But anyway, I agree with GL with all what he said. I can repeat that Thank you for posting again. And I hope you will share more of your work. Don't miss again ALeksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 This poem is scathing denunciation of superficiality. Power-packed, it exudes irony and bitterness. In addition to what the others have already said, I think these lines sum things up quite well: ... And when all is done there'll be nothing deep ... Good to see you, Mike. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tilsover Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Aye! very good, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Billydo wrote: now fame is a fool, measured by hits At first glance at the title....I thought it said UN-BIBLICAL-CORD Very sharp, modern and humourous writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billydo Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Hello and thank you all. I have been a little busy so have not had the chance to pop by. I formed this for a while then the other weekend I caught a click interview with Lee Seigel (Against the machine) www.bbc.co.uk/click which helped coalesce my ideas. The world wide womb and umbilical concept is mine. (I think) What sems to be the case is that even suggesting a problem with the web is perceived as suspicious because it is perceived to be attacking democratic rights. Let's not forget that democratic right got Socrates killed and Athens sacked twice. It's democratic principle and practice that should be carved in stone. It's the democratic right of a kid to make a prize fool of themselves on youtube but is it right for us to let them do so, and potentially harm themselves? And that's not Nannying - that's a duty of care which none of those sites exercise. But they're not simply web sites anymore - they are now social institutions, confidants, entertainment, confessors ... and the experts are home grown, fatuous and shallow. Why let facts get in the way of a good opinion. And we're embracing it with gusto and without criticism. As Seigel says - we used to be mistrustful of Big Brother, now we'd ask for his mobile number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Hi it's like a song and nice to dance with the symphony! great work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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