We've Lost Our Way

[tonyv]

With nowhere else to roam
--you're in Slovakia,
not California;
you are that far from home.
I warned you wouldn't find
a balalaika tune
sounding on the moon
save for in your mind.
Remember how we smiled
some side of history
where there was you and me,
how there was once a child
--whose mother was my wife,
--no others in my life?

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

well you don't have a child or a wife that i know of, but it could be whimiscal. hmmm on that thought! well i am curious as to your subject of your poem might be. inquiring mind wants to know? i like the feel of this. it flows lyrically like a lovely song of european descent which i think is effective and works well here. i believe that was the feel you were trying to get the reader to notice, rather enjoyed reading this a few times. thank you for finally sharing it my friend tony. as for the poem moist lines are 6 syllables and 2 in the middleof the poem 2 lines that are 5 syllables. it writes like a sonnet.

 

victor

[badger11]

It seems so long. Any poem that can pool Slovakia, California, balalaika ticks a box for me. And you do have that knack of representing the emotional distance, the spaces between the real and ideal where lost ones roam. I guess wife, child, home can anchor a ship, but not a sea.

 

many thanks for sharing

 

badge

[Benjamin]

There's a haunting quality about this..a kind of exile that seems to say “a million places in the world to fill, but there's no going home.”

[tonyv]

Thank you, Victor, for your kind observations

 

it writes like a sonnent.

I had hoped so.

 

Tony

[tonyv]

I love your insight into my works, Badge.

 

It seems so long.

Do you mean the poem seems long?

 

Any poem that can pool Slovakia, California, balalaika ticks a box for me. And you do have that knack of representing the emotional distance, the spaces between the real and ideal where lost ones roam.

And some of those spaces and places may be so distant and impractical they may as well not exist. (I know you get that part.)

 

 

I guess wife, child, home can anchor a ship, but not a sea.

And that, I think, is the tragedy.

 

Tony

 

 

PS - Thanks for encouraging me to re-post the poem.**

_________________________________________

**For the casual reader on a drive-by, I had posted this poem a few days ago but had a change of heart and deleted it. Then I was checking the board as I always do and saw this unusual topic in General Discussion: "The perfect poem." I guess I hadn't deleted the poem fast enough as Badge had already seen it. Anyway, I was encouraged (or maybe shamed, lol) into reposting the poem. I'm glad I did.

[tonyv]

And thank you, Benjamin.

 

There's a haunting quality about this..a kind of exile that seems to say “a million places in the world to fill, but there's no going home.”

A million places indeed, many of them painfully remote.

 

Tony

[dr_con]

Tony.

 

A signature of the last 2 pieces i have read is vastness. The untold miles and space that lay between the heart and head. The topographic certitude by which you use emotional and physical markers, is the indicator of a master poetic cartographer.

 

I loved it. Let your 'other eyes' judge its worth always. I have seen my suspicions confirmed by able readers as to the weaknesses and strengths of certain pieces. That's what this forum s for to break one from the solipsistic haze of self judgement;-)

 

Many Thanks!

 

Juris

[tonyv]

Thanks, Juris. I would like to become more productive, and with the terrific group here, it's the place to do it.

 

Tony

[dansalinger]

So sad and lonely...moving poem

[tonyv]

Thanks, Dan. Pleased it moved you.

 

Tony

[Aleksandra]

An amazing poem, Tony. I loved it. I missed reading your poems, and this poem turn me back in time, because it feels as your old style of poetical creation. :). I am happy, that I came to this poem, indeed.

[Tinker]

Nice sonnet Tony, I liked your departure from the standard iambic pentameter lines of the sonnet. Especially since you are such a master of the meter, it came as a surprise as did Slovakia/California. That made me chuckle actually. It carries the rhyme scheme and pivot of a Bowlesian Sonnet I like the turn of emotion in this piece, you had me smiling at first even though you were speaking of being far away, but by the end I was feeling lost and little sad. Nice writing.

 

~~Tink