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Poetry Magnum Opus

Our relation breathing last!


Bloodyday
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You called in my cell phone

I just watched the sunny day!

Your tears dripping like pearls

threw your cell away!

 

I gave a call back

Your cell is in the garbage

This is our relationship

about to break in last stage!

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

great metahor bloodyday. excellent poem. you conveyed you message that was compact and excellent my friend.

 

excellent lines and metaphor here.

 

Your cell is in the garbage

This is our relationship

about to break in last stage

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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goldenlangur

Hi Bloodyday,

 

This reads painful. The "cell phone" symbolizing the break down in communication works well - what irony and poignancy!

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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I agree with Victor and Golden. The cell phone metaphor is quite effective. Garbage is also a powerful word in this context, and the part where you watched the sunny day demonstrates in a subtle way how you have lost your patience with the relationship.

 

Nice to see you, Bloodyday.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

Ah what a separation Bloodyday, so somehow passing each other without meeting, bc of something and yes the time can't stop, sometime can be late.

 

You expressed wonderful this poem. I like the metaphor too/

 

Thank you for sharing

 

Alek

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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aleksandra says

 

Ah what a separation Bloodyday, so somehow passing each other without meeting, bc of something and yes the time can't stop, sometime can be late.

 

Actually my life is full of complex, and now i am passing a horrible phase. same day i called her, she felt annoyed and scolded me with some slangs. my eyes filled with tears. people changes as usual but some changes hurt most.

addiction is the worst solution, sometimes could provide remedy but at the end destroyes everything. so i left these apart but some emotions, love, smiles can never be forgot. still everything is not more beautiful than her: How silly i am!

 

i think i need a doc!

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