The Tenant

[badger11]

In the room

he found Mary, her jeans unzipped,

naked to her knees, with a breast

cradled in each hand.

They were swollen and sore

like his lips.

He said, "Where's the child?"

"Sleeping," she said. "Sleeping."

[dcmarti1]

A striking image and well crafted, taut lines. Am I right to feel that there are ominous reasons that both he and she seem to be physically harmed AND the infant is not readily available? Like I said, striking, but I see more questions than answers.

[Tinker]

Hi Badge, This is great writing. This does not feel good at all. It is frightening in its presentation. I am not going to say I like this piece, It almost feels like I've been assaulted by this stark imagery and raw emotion. I don't know where this came from but it is haunting.

 

~Tink

[badger11]

Thanks DCM and Tink. It was something of a reaction to this:

 

"From Monday, 660,000 social housing tenants deemed to have a spare room will begin to lose an average of £14 a week in housing benefit."

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21991953

 

all the best

 

badge

[Benjamin]

Interesting if rather oblique imagery badge. I fear the ideological social misery currently being inflicted on this nation will have much worse reactions in the very near future. B

[badger11]

Interesting if rather oblique imagery badge. I fear the ideological social misery currently being inflicted on this nation will have much worse reactions in the very near future. B

 

True B.

[dcmarti1]

Ah! With the outer stanzas now added (#1 and #3) the STORY is complete. The image is still as striking but more understandable. Maybe there is something to this revision stuff. :)

[badger11]

Maybe there is something to this revision stuff.

 

Revision is the fun bit Marti