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Poetry Magnum Opus

Unaware


fdelano
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Unaware

 

 

Rain on snow takes away the glitter

as I watch its runoff in the midnight

glare of the streetlamp. In the middles,

in the silence so appropriate, I am

compelled to watch the emptiness

outside.

 

Aging’s effect on the mind causes

memories to flow to a drain ever

empty and seeming to want more

of the most meaningful events

of a life that outraces its abilities

inside.

 

Perhaps by tomorrow I will have

forgotten standing alone beside

the black night window, a spot

chosen as a haven against those

memories that never join the rush

downhill.

 

A sudden rain works its way into my

chest, with fingers that spread

wide, dissolving the snow blanket

with sopping cold drops that I know

will soon drive me back to unwelcome

sleep.

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Ooooh Frank this is a good one. I don't know if the last word "Again" does anything for the poem... It is complete and more powerful without it, but that is just my humble opinion. I really enjoyed reading this piece. Thanks,

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Thanks, Tink. "Again" is necessary in this one, because it is an ongoing occurrence. Check your PM.

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A contemplative and profound piece. Your overall imagery is clear and uncluttered and the third stanza for me.. is outstanding. Stay well my friend.

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Thank your, Geoff. You are kind. I agree that S-3 is the least cluttered, its meaning clear. Still trying to learn.

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For me it is the last stanza. Sort of foreboding to call "unwelcome" the natural function of sleep. I like the one word line ending each stanza.

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Thank you, neighbor. Your approval makes me think I may be learning.

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