Bloodyday Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 LIFE 2 consonants and 2 vowels Darling, life is beautiful! Being undress, now provide me 2 short towels Water supply has been cut yesterday due to unpaid bill and rude landlord. Darling, my credit card is bouncing now How would you marry such a lovely fraud? When I, first, got your number Your voice was like a lollipop to me I was eagerly waiting for the first date Then I chewed my socks watching you an ugly Betty. But you kept pressing on me my desire chewing my pillows everyday my head got busted one day I lost my job; “Goodbye”, why don’t you say? Quote
goldenlangur Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Hello Bloodyday, Your poem is laden with the anguish of love. It flows like a song! While the heart plays havoc life around you comes tumbling down. The details here are wonderfully vivid: Bloodyday wrote: Water supply has been cut yesterday due to unpaid bill and rude landlord. Darling, my credit card is bouncing now How would you marry such a lovely fraud? One senses that she remains out of reach and therefore the poet suffers. And while the pain of indifferent love continues, you seem to have turned to poetry - you're in good company - bards from days of yore have sung of sleepless nights and the malaise of the heart. Take care, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.
Aleksandra Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Bloodyday, this is interesting way of expressing the poem. Using the numbers than the words, looks interesting. The flows of the imageries and details are pretty good expressed. i like it Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
pawn shop Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 LOVE IT !! The opening lines are very clever. The entire thing was a fun read for me. Quote
Bloodyday Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 GD, due to decreasing call rate in our country, it's a common phenomena ta make date with the unknown numbers. The teen aged and under 30 people like to chat over mobile phones with opposite sex. sometimes it's hard to guess how pritty is she with i am talking. in most of the case things go wrong and this poem is about this situation. aleksandra and pawn shop, actually i wanna make a fun with this thing because all the stories are same with some different accent but still those stories make me laugh! Quote
JoelJosol Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 How true, the sentiments of the poem. Even before mobile phones became popular, a friend put me up on a blind date as a prank. She knew I, like any other young guys, would date only pretty girls but she sold the idea that I should trust her and set me up with a young girl well below my expectation. She must have enjoyed seeing me trying to be polite before I found a reason to leave. Bad boy! Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.