Importance

[JoelJosol]

In the lounge,

a thought escaped off my head

like a cold drip

 

from an air-con unit

protruding out

a wall.

 

It's lost

in a corridor filled with

consequential people

 

or who thought they were

altering the sequence

of the line

 

and the rest

who felt they were

but are self-doubters.

 

Awakened

by my own importance,

I rise

 

to stop this

thought from leaving

as if a queue.

[goldenlangur]

Hello JoelJosol,

 

Defintely a new style in your recent poems and this one is one of the best you've posted. Love the way you weave thoughts effortlessly from one line to another to that brilliant final line.

 

The central image of "thought" emerging from the air-conditioner and floating about is wonderfully surreal.

 

 

Thank you for a great read.

 

goldenlangur

[Aleksandra]

I agree with GL Joel about this new style. It sound wonderful, I am glad for that my friend. I like in here the way that you managed the poem on the way like it is. each expression has the right line in the structure of this poem.

 

I had some problems with the word queue because is unknown for me, and when I checked gave me here different meanings, what is possible in this poem to have each of the meanings - makes sense. But I think I got it on the end.

 

Also a wise poem.

 

Well done Joel, much enjoyed

 

Aleksandra

[JoelJosol]

I'm glad both of you like the poem, GL and Aleks.

 

Actually my hospital visits inspired the poem, waiting on queues, makes you either sleepy or reflective :-)

[JoelJosol]

I revised this poem by changing 'important people' to 'consequential people', and then playing on the etymology of the word 'consequential'.

 

The last line instead of 'catch this thought' I changed it to 'stop this' and drop 'thought' to the next line to defer the complete meaning of the line.