Gatekeeper Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 the end? Methinks we near the end milleniums we've spent muddying clear waters Facts are not to slow down freedoms we insist on forgetting what we do We've known the consequence when we abandon sense wishing change to vanish Propogation assumed people see no purpose putting on the birth-brakes Vision is limited vectored to the short line vending only profits Pay less than the true price pretend that it's all cheap parlaying that gamble Destined to hit the wall doesn't seem to matter digesting all at speed Have you any concern how we've chosen the end handling it badly Could you find another course of life to follow caring that we survive 'keeper --- edit 042513 / 2037 Quote from the black desert
Tinker Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Hi Keeper, The ancient Welsh poets would often repeat the first letter, syllable or word in each line of the stanza. They called it cymeriad (memory). With the archaic language beginning "methinks" and the adherance to syllable, line and stanza count the whole poem took on an ancient feel. Cool! 6 syllable lines, 3 line stanzas, 3 three stanza units (that one wasn't as obvious as the syllable and line count.) And by the way the imagery ain't bad either. "putting on the birth brakes" I enjoyed this one. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com
dcmarti1 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Love the look (all tight lines), feel, and form. Oh, yeah, the message, too. Nice job. Quote
fdelano Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Not qualified to comment on poetic form or meter, but the content seems a message of "chickens coming home to roost." Still, I'm usually wrong. Quote
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