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Change the world!


Bloodyday
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In the end fire flies

pain grows in paradise

no body dies

no body cries

this is the prison

we live without option

cheap is our love and smile

intention dies to exile

 

i need the trees

to watch the skies

singing out loud

pointing empty crowd

this is the world we don't want

no more soul will ever refund

 

just follow the line

where happiness is fine

for your fake expressions in your face

ready to hate this paradise, bring distress

 

disgrace yourself or change the world

saving your smiles fallen waits to herald

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

execellent poem bloodyday. i love the analogies used in the beginning and the end of the poem. well done.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Aleksandra

Interesting poem Bloodyday, and angry one. I don't like the expression :

you must move your fat ass

I don't like here because i think that expression works bad in this poem and takes from the power of this poem, which is nice and good poem.

Without that expression - I like so much your poem. It sounds very real and truthful.

 

Well written, and I am sorry for telling my opinion about that expression but really you can skip that one. Sure it's your decision icon_wink.gif

 

Thanks for sharing

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Interesting poem Bloodyday, and angry one. I don't like the expression :

you must move your fat ass

I don't like here because i think that expression works bad in this poem and takes from the power of this poem, which is nice and good poem.

Without that expression - I like so much your poem. It sounds very real and truthful.

 

Well written, and I am sorry for telling my opinion about that expression but really you can skip that one. Sure it's your decision icon_wink.gif

 

Thanks for sharing

 

Aleksandra

 

 

Umm....ya i understood your feelings, as this poem was embelishmented in the time of my unholy blessings. These times gift me the ups and downs emotions which make an impact in my behaviour and poems in proportion. My hidden desire drenches away my comceptions that awakes some filthy memories awaits for the time of mourn. i hope soon my works will be independent of this impurities as this world can't bear any ambuguities between love and peace.

 

Aleksandra, it's a free world with some logical bindings and perhaps this is the reason everybody lives for the beloved and siblings!

 

thanks for your opinion and victor, your work must carry on like the show must go on!

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I like this powerful lyrical poem, Bloodyday. This part sets the underlying tone:

this is the prison

we live without option

... but here, it seems the narrator is trying to remain positive:

i need the trees

to watch the skies

singing out loud

pointing empty crowd

this is the world we don't want ....

 

just follow the line

where happiness is fine ....

The message in the end resounds:

disgrace yourself or change the world ...

Do something! Change the world! I like it!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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