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Anxiety is My Life


Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Larsen M. Callirhoe

Anxiety is My Life

I hear the crowds guffawing at me.
What do I do for I feel abandoned and all alone?
Do I lie in bed all day and feel the foreboding eat me alive?
Hasty love I have experienced in life an inadequate amount of times mercifully.
I desire to make love like no other, but it is synthetic without acceptance from another.
This longing eats at me preposterously as ambiguity rattles my nerves uneasily.

So I write verse to pass the time by.
It leads me into a realm of the unknown in uncertainty.
I bellow unaccompanied in my bedstead chamber,
but this crying plea gets me nowhere fast I gather.

Disturbingly I want to pass away into a sphere of bliss
where languid liquid dreams are indeed conceivable and plausible.
This reality is feasible where I do walk again,
so this nightmare of living in a world of paralysis
will truly haunt me no more I pray.

 

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Anxiety is My Life

 

I hear the crowds guffawing at me.

What do I do for I feel abandoned and all alone?

Do I lie in bed all day and feel the foreboding eat me alive?

Hasty love I have experienced in life an inadequate amount of times mercifully.

I desire to make love like no other, but it is synthetic without acceptance from another.

This longing eats at me preposterously as ambiguity rattles my nerves uneasily.

 

So I write verse to pass the time by.

It leads me into a realm of the unknown in uncertainty.

I bellow unaccompanied in my bedstead chamber,

but this crying plea gets me nowhere fast I gather.

 

Disturbingly I want to pass away into a sphere of bliss

where languid liquid dreams are indeed conceivable and plausible.

This reality is feasible where I do walk again,

so this nightmare of living in a world of paralysis

will truly haunt me no more I pray.

 

 

Hasty love I have experienced in life an inadequate amount of times mercifully.

 

Hasty love BUT mercifully inadequate: That may be a LOT of syllables but that was pretty damn moving and insightful! It takes someone very strong to share like that. Your candor is appreciated and honored.

 

.

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Frank E Gibbard

If words could salve mine are sent to you for as much as it can I hope in deserved congratulaions for this cri de couer. Be encouraged you are heard Larse my and best wishes to you. Frank

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Victor, I hear you loud and clear in this one and understand, possibly better than most.

 

Something few people on the poetry sites know is that I married a paraplegic, when I was 25. We were married twelve years. I finally had to divorce him, to save myself. Interestingly enough the paralysis itself was not the problem; he fully cared for himself, except a couple times when he broke a leg. He was an alcoholic, he abused prescription drugs, horribly and toward the end I was afraid he would kill me then shoot himself. Eight years after we divorced and I had been long remarried, he did, in fact take his own life, with his gun, which his oldest daughter had hidden, high on a closet shelf. Where there's a will, I guess. Another issue between us was that he was eleven years older than me and considered me immature. Well, I grew up during that one!

 

When I met him and accepted his prposal, I thought he was very different than what turned to be true. Everyone, all our closest friends, thought he had it so together, and was totally accepting of his condition. WRONG. He was a great actor and I kid you not, the best liar on the planet! I could write for days and not cover it all.

 

Anyway, I also understand how writing can help, to some degree, with the heartaches and the unrealized wishes and dreams. All I can say is to hang in there. Pretty pitiful words, I know.

 

tammi

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David W. Parsley

Victor, I too must reply to this candid and anguished work, to say that you are heard by this ear, moved to this heart. MQ's reply renders anything further inadequate.

 

- Dave

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I also have read your words and empathise.. I sincerely hope you find peace of mind and the strength to carry on. My very best wishes go out to you. Geoff. (Benjamin)

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