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Family


dansalinger
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dansalinger

THE DEFINITION OF FAMILY

Family is your future and family is your past. Family is the mold from which your dye was cast.

Family is a feeling in the recess of your mind. Its easy to forget but it’s with you all the time. A feeling of belonging and a longing that you share, it’s a bond that brings you running anytime your needed there. It endures the worst of battle and defies the test of time, although you may be different, some parts will always rhyme.

Family is a fondness born of nothing but your soul, the time you’ve spent together is a part that makes you whole. Knows the depth of your depravity, sees the humor in your jokes, there is no need for pretense or any other cloaks.

Family is a feather latched on to your cart and it never goes away, even after they part.

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David W. Parsley

Family is a feather latched on to your cart and it never goes away, even after they depart.

 

Highly original understatement. Something in me responds to the truth in this sentence, dansalinger, but I do not yet understand it well enough to expand.

 

Thank You,

- Dave

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dansalinger

thanks for your interest in the poem...the last verse was a last minute change...the original verse being "family is a fable etched upon your heart that never goes away even after they depart." however I thought a little too corny and contrived..."family is a feather latched on to your cart and it never goes away, even after they depart" the feather latched onto the cart meaning family is something you carry with you everywhere but without burden or weight and of course remains with you after they leave this world...also a feather, like family can be decorative and help identify who you are...the identity can be good or bad...and also a feather can help you fly and take you to places you could never go without it

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A pleasure to read from the emphatic first line and throughout. The plain language is well suited to the universal tone of the piece; although the line which Dave mentioned does stand out for it's unusual analogy.

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Knows the depth of your depravity, sees the humor in your jokes, there is no need for pretense or any other cloaks.

 

Bravo. :)

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Kind of depends on the family from which you hail, does it not? :) My family is a bit different, I've been told.

 

Anyway, I really enjoyed this piece. As to the last line, I have an idea you might play with, that might resonate better for readers.

 

 

"Family, light as a feather attached to your heart and it never goes away, even when they depart." I think 'when', being only one syllable, allows a better rhythm. I don't expect you to use this (unless you want; you are welcome to), but just to show you another way you might go that would be less obscure. Either way, very nice work. Thanks for sharing.

 

tammi

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dansalinger

Tammi...the rhythm needs some tweaking...thanks for the suggestion...maybe ....Family, light as a feather aglow on your heart, and it never goes out, even when they depart....or Family is a feather latched onto your cart (or heart), that never goes away even after they part...anyway thanks for the input..dan

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