eclipse Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I watched you dismantle a clocklooking for God's heartbeatin the cogs and springs.Some nights you would sleep on the streets,stitching and unstitching starssearching for the index of creation.I waited and observed a spiderfinishing a web, netting the moon.He swayed in the rigging, satisfied Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 searching for the index of creation. Oh, my! I appreciate that on SO many levels: one being the fact that a former job of mine was 100% procedural with databases that this THEOLOGY meshes right with METHODOLOGY. Amazing piece all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Hi Eclipse the methodology and theology like marti stated above is sweet and meshes very well in your piece. The alliteration and rhythm makes for a fast paced upbeat tempo read. The transition from one stanza to the next flows smoothly like the words flowing from a creek. Nicely written imho. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 A well constructed all embracing piece which prompts theological aspects; I'm reminded of the words: “We believe because we want to believe.. In gods.. because that dulls the fear of death.. In love.. because it enhances the notion of life.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Excellent. I do like an image. typo -full-stop after satisfied. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Excellent poetry! I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary. There is power here, even defiant power. This is pretty much an in-your-face poem. I like that kind of daring. But maybe you meant something else. I would prefer you keep that to yourself. 'keeper Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Excellent poetry! I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary. There is power here, even defiant power. This is pretty much an in-your-face poem. I like that kind of daring. But maybe you meant something else. I would prefer you keep that to yourself. 'keeper Oh, but gate, theology IS defiance. Those old, nasty, Latin America, Marxist-accommodating, RAND Corp hating priests said, "God is the subverter of the status quo!" Brilliant. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 breathtakingly perfect. Really one of my favorite of yours, the tiny detail, the nameless carried POV from stanza to stanza. Really enjoyed! Con/Jur/D Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 So this is what the sorcerer does when he is not in the sonnet laboratory! This is your best miniature (if your cosmic pieces can be characterized so) since sea shell IMHO. Legacy quality piece and one of MY favorites, too! Thanks Barry, - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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