threads

[eclipse]

I watched you dismantle a clock
looking for God's heartbeat
in the cogs and springs.

Some nights you would sleep on the streets,
stitching and unstitching stars
searching for the index of creation.

I waited and observed a spider
finishing a web, netting the moon.
He swayed in the rigging, satisfied

 

[dcmarti1]

searching for the index of creation.

Oh, my! I appreciate that on SO many levels: one being the fact that a former job of mine was 100% procedural with databases that this THEOLOGY meshes right with METHODOLOGY. Amazing piece all around.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

Hi Eclipse the methodology and theology like marti stated above is sweet and meshes very well in your piece. The alliteration and rhythm makes for a fast paced upbeat tempo read. The transition from one stanza to the next flows smoothly like the words flowing from a creek. Nicely written imho.

 

victor

[Benjamin]

A well constructed all embracing piece which prompts theological aspects; I'm reminded of the words: “We believe because we want to believe.. In gods.. because that dulls the fear of death.. In love.. because it enhances the notion of life.”

[badger11]

Excellent. I do like an image. typo -full-stop after satisfied.

 

badge

[Gatekeeper]

Excellent poetry!

I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary.

There is power here, even defiant power.

This is pretty much an in-your-face poem.

I like that kind of daring.

But maybe you meant something else.

I would prefer you keep that to yourself.

 

 

'keeper

[dcmarti1]

Excellent poetry!

I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary.

There is power here, even defiant power.

This is pretty much an in-your-face poem.

I like that kind of daring.

But maybe you meant something else.

I would prefer you keep that to yourself.

 

 

'keeper

Oh, but gate, theology IS defiance. Those old, nasty, Latin America, Marxist-accommodating, RAND Corp hating priests said, "God is the subverter of the status quo!" Brilliant. :)

[dr_con]

breathtakingly perfect. Really one of my favorite of yours, the tiny detail, the nameless carried POV from stanza to stanza. Really enjoyed!

 

Con/Jur/D

[David W. Parsley]

So this is what the sorcerer does when he is not in the sonnet laboratory! This is your best miniature (if your cosmic pieces can be characterized so) since sea shell IMHO. Legacy quality piece and one of MY favorites, too!

 

Thanks Barry,

- Dave