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Poetry Magnum Opus

souvenir


dedalus

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In a mist-filled snow

cast in grey shadows

sat an old green bench

with flaking paint;

it had a beady-eyed crow at its end

who crossly flew away

when we approached.

 

I don’t really know, you said,

what I’ll do; and I said,

I know, darling, but I’m sure

it will be all right. And then

I brushed the snowflakes

away from your eyes

and kissed you.

 

That was in Istanbul

where old green steamers went lurching across the Horn

softly, silently puffing ….

 

I have grown old

and resent each bedridden day

spent thinking; I particularly

despise the night, each

sleepless night and deep

where ancient memories

softly creep.

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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Gamut of emotions in this short piece! Did not see THAT ending! Pretty darn powerful. Clear images.

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Third effort response: I get the same types of emotions from your words a I do reading a well-written history. I can understand why you are a successful teacher.

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Brendan, this is really written so beautifully, I found the flow lead me from beginnning to end with a constant 'reel' playing in my head, unavoidably. These words, much more than simply words.

 

mq

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  • 2 weeks later...

Something for all in wonderful journey which allows the reader to make his/her diversions before the destination. Much enjoyed.

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Gatekeeper

I was liking this right up to the end, and then it crashed, with a cringe.

I think you could finish this with less conventional or predictable language.

from the black desert

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