Jump to content

souvenir


dedalus
 Share

Recommended Posts

In a mist-filled snow

cast in grey shadows

sat an old green bench

with flaking paint;

it had a beady-eyed crow at its end

who crossly flew away

when we approached.

 

I don’t really know, you said,

what I’ll do; and I said,

I know, darling, but I’m sure

it will be all right. And then

I brushed the snowflakes

away from your eyes

and kissed you.

 

That was in Istanbul

where old green steamers went lurching across the Horn

softly, silently puffing ….

 

I have grown old

and resent each bedridden day

spent thinking; I particularly

despise the night, each

sleepless night and deep

where ancient memories

softly creep.

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gamut of emotions in this short piece! Did not see THAT ending! Pretty darn powerful. Clear images.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Third effort response: I get the same types of emotions from your words a I do reading a well-written history. I can understand why you are a successful teacher.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brendan, this is really written so beautifully, I found the flow lead me from beginnning to end with a constant 'reel' playing in my head, unavoidably. These words, much more than simply words.

 

mq

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another brilliant demonstration of your exquisite talent. Well, well done!

 

Con/Jur/D

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Something for all in wonderful journey which allows the reader to make his/her diversions before the destination. Much enjoyed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gatekeeper

I was liking this right up to the end, and then it crashed, with a cringe.

I think you could finish this with less conventional or predictable language.

from the black desert

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.