This is not a love poem

[JoelJosol]

Yet. But who knows? With so much uncertainty ahead, you

don’t have control how this will morph. It could take

one path and choose not to be. Bad, bad, yes, but

the span of attention has expired like a breath,

could one expect a rebound from their next breath?

This poem can not hold down anyone either. You could leave

before the next line dithers, this poem aborting,

or abends like software, casting a blue screen.

[tonyv]

The title immediately caught my attention: This is not a love poem. Is the narrator being sarcastic? Will the poem be a love poem? I love the uncertainty, and I love how you leave it open, only telling the reader what could happen. This part is wonderful --

... Bad, bad, yes, but

the span of your attention has expired like a breath

... and the BSOD reference is something that I (and perhaps most people) can certainly relate to. Excellent write!

 

Tony

 

PS -- I looked up abend: from computer science, ABNORMAL END OF TASK.

 

... The program is not responding, Windows has been shut down to prevent serious damage to your machine, and Elvis has left the building. Fantastic!

[Aleksandra]

Very experimental and practical poem Joel. I loved this one.

All is going fast inside , all is truthful.

 

Wonderful irony in this poem. beautiful start and much better end.

 

Excellent work Joel.

 

Aleksandra

[JoelJosol]

Thank you, Tony and Aleksandra. I am on the path to shifting my writing style.