the shouting

[Benjamin]

the shouting and passion gone

and all of life's oracles

ambiguous to the point

of meaninglessness

a clutter of words that made

need and love the same suitors

only with different clothes

and the nature of a soul

a small accumulation

of memories embodied

in a never ending flinch

at the quiet sound of dirt

falling upon a coffin

[fdelano]

Geoff, this came like a punch out of the dark. So much is condensed here, that it's like a whole life lived in the images and perfectly chosen words, such as "need and love the same suitors/only with different clothes" Real life told with cold magic, personalized by the reader. Thank you, I think.

fdh

[dcmarti1]

The hearer of the dirt upon the coffin: the one inside or the ones remaining outside?

 

Agree with Franklin D.....personalized by the reader. Very universal.....

[dr_con]

life's stressors- gone. And the sound of falling dirt, reminds us of what's important. Morbidly profound...

 

Thanks!

 

Juris

[moonqueen]

Undoubtedly not your intention, but this one leaves me feeling a bit like 'why bother?', it seems it was for naught, said and done.

 

Well organized thoughts with an image of loneliness and finality. Like Franklin, I was attracted to "words that made/need and love the same suitors/only with different clothes". Causes the wheel to grind.

 

t

[Benjamin]

Thanks to all of you for the feedback.

It's one of two experimental pieces (the first being "six degrees and more") which reflect a recent reading of some fairly heavy stuff.

[Gatekeeper]

I find this while grieving the death of a dear poet friend.

Helpful and comforting in its way . . .

[Benjamin]

Thank you Gatekeeper. I also lost a dear friend in April.

[David W. Parsley]

Ben, this is remarkably intense and impactful. Fine sense of form. And like the others, I am struck almost dumb with the brilliance of that 'twin suitors' thing! One of your very best!

 

Thanks (I think),

- Dave

[Benjamin]

Thank you Dave your comments are most appreciated. B.