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Predawn


fdelano
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Predawn (Compilation of others of my scribbles)

 

This early winter monsoon

brings little rain;

slow drizzle laced

with fog captures the pale

morning light.

 

Cool, damp air causes

the sleeping man to curl

his knees toward his chest.

 

He fights off reality

for fleeting remnants

of dreams as his body

gradually straightens

and conforms

to the soothing

attendance of a hovering,

sylvan figure.

 

She denies his obvious

intentions for a few moments,

then, inexplicably,

submits willingly

to his caresses.

 

A dying candle

reflects their merged

silhouettes,

but they slowly

take on form and color

as two small windows

accept the day.

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This is fine writing, Franklin (as is so much of what you've been publishing here as of late). I really enjoyed the personal and ephemeral characteristics of this one. Love the title, too.

 

Tony

 

PS -- love your new avatar. I gotta guess the year. Ca. '79?

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thank you for the kind words. Ephemeral is what I tried for, since it's a memory in a dream. Just trying to make myself young again, with the changing avatars, Tony. This one is from 1983. Can't believe Wrangler let me get away with that long hair. ;)

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Well, you look great. '79 was a good guess I think. Anywhere from '77-'84 would be right in the ballpark. The Air Force one looked good, too. The several eras depicted impart a sense of culture that for me has the familiarity of home.

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Ha. I'll try to find the one of me with a tied queue and a do-rag. lol

 

This one is of my three sons, ca. 1980. How times have changed. ;)

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Thank you, Tamra. She is both. I know--another riddle answer. ;)

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Real or not.....mythic. Enjoyed reading it.

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Happy you read it, Marti. Thanks.

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David W. Parsley

Vivid, eloquent, balanced sense of form: tangibility in the ephemeral.

 

Really Nice Work, Paco.

- Dave

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So pleased, Dave. Thank you.

fdh

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Not always my first choice of tense but you use it here to great effect creating an atmospheric blend of human nature, wider nature and a mystique that works extremely well. Much enjoyed. Geoff.

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Thank you, G. I love present tense for its immediacy and intimacy. Also eliminates most of the passive verbs.

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