fdelano Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Predawn (Compilation of others of my scribbles) This early winter monsoon brings little rain; slow drizzle laced with fog captures the pale morning light. Cool, damp air causes the sleeping man to curl his knees toward his chest. He fights off reality for fleeting remnants of dreams as his body gradually straightens and conforms to the soothing attendance of a hovering, sylvan figure. She denies his obvious intentions for a few moments, then, inexplicably, submits willingly to his caresses. A dying candle reflects their merged silhouettes, but they slowly take on form and color as two small windows accept the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 This is fine writing, Franklin (as is so much of what you've been publishing here as of late). I really enjoyed the personal and ephemeral characteristics of this one. Love the title, too. Tony PS -- love your new avatar. I gotta guess the year. Ca. '79? Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Thank you for the kind words. Ephemeral is what I tried for, since it's a memory in a dream. Just trying to make myself young again, with the changing avatars, Tony. This one is from 1983. Can't believe Wrangler let me get away with that long hair. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Well, you look great. '79 was a good guess I think. Anywhere from '77-'84 would be right in the ballpark. The Air Force one looked good, too. The several eras depicted impart a sense of culture that for me has the familiarity of home. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Ha. I'll try to find the one of me with a tied queue and a do-rag. lol This one is of my three sons, ca. 1980. How times have changed. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonqueen Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Lovely, Franklin. But, is she real, or mythical? Seems somehow familiar, yet not at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 Thank you, Tamra. She is both. I know--another riddle answer. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Real or not.....mythic. Enjoyed reading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 Happy you read it, Marti. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Vivid, eloquent, balanced sense of form: tangibility in the ephemeral. Really Nice Work, Paco. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 So pleased, Dave. Thank you. fdh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Not always my first choice of tense but you use it here to great effect creating an atmospheric blend of human nature, wider nature and a mystique that works extremely well. Much enjoyed. Geoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 Thank you, G. I love present tense for its immediacy and intimacy. Also eliminates most of the passive verbs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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