JoelJosol Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 It is difficult when lovers treat each other like sales agents, mutually asking for a love forecast, and demanding each other’s commitment. But the problem with prediction is the future, not the predilection for unexpected roses, but love reduced to a concoction of appearances. If lovers were businessmen, non-performance could be a development issue. Coaching may or may not save the lovers. And when it doesn’t, To dismiss need not be abrasive. Give each other dignity, not insanity. Shake hands and hug each other if you must. It’s all business. Find someone else who can deliver. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach
tonyv Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 It certainly seems that many have lost sight of the sacramental aspect of marriage, opting instead to focus on its contractual elements. You offer a workable course of action: ... Give each other dignity, not insanity. Shake hands and hug each other if you must. It’s all business .... Communication is crucial to the successful outcome of any venture, whether business or personal. At the end of the poem, you present a final step to be taken when all other attempts in the chain of customer, rather, partner retention have failed: Find someone else who can deliver. Have you become more prolific, Joel, or have you always written a lot? You seem to be cranking them out, and I am envious -- I wish I could produce more. I always enjoy reading your work, especially in your new style. Thank you for sharing it here! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Aleksandra Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I agree with all what Tony said here. Joel very interesting. This reminds me of one ex style of me in my own language - Macedonian, when I was writing generally about the sides of life, playing with philosophical views of the things around. nice and well written. Slowly but with a dose of angriness I like this a lot. And yes I enjoy in your work also. I am glad that you are so productive recently, but seems I think you were like this always. thank you for sharing your work with us. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
JoelJosol Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Thanks, Tony, for looking at the poem in its details- what with so many unhappy relationships continue to plod along unhappily. There are weeks the brain just continue to pump out pieces :-) Aleks, that is true. Sometimes our opinions find themselves forming their own way in a poem :-) Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 hi joel, if only politicians could be like wht is written in your poem. i was unhappy with my ex and then she left me. after she left i missed her so much but realised she wasn't the one for me. i wish we could still be friends but once you become lovers and break up. you can never be friends again. larsen Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
pawn shop Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Not bad at all ! Again, a cool perspective. I like the business comparison....so true.... the last line was a stinger ! You really had a few blunt lines....ah, but the truth hurts... Quote
JoelJosol Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Larsen, when the break-up is bitter yes. But, people learn to move on. PS, thanks. Truth does hurt but better to be pragmatic about it. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach
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