fdelano Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 what's that I hear? a feather bed beckoning no need for reckoning no bisecting or connecting no reflecting -lies the numbness I seek feeling no pain for feelings bring pain thus I disdain love again and again -exists a single bed only no empathy or sympathy no beauty no artistry nor even poetry -I must sleep alone in emptiness darkness none to bless no one to caress no humanness -sun's light and warmth must not invade my couch of jade in this voided glade this bed I made in which I fade ... Quote
Gatekeeper Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 A grim fairy tale, this. Quote from the black desert
fdelano Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 No fairy tales allowed, GK. Thanks. Quote
Gatekeeper Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 But fairy tales ease the pain of reality . . . Quote from the black desert
dcmarti1 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I love the short, speedy lines that belie a LOT of emotion. I hope that was cathartic for you, and, as always, I hope you are well. (I leave for TX around Oct 18 - pray for me, Dear Lord, pray for me in Texas.) Keep writing, dude. Quote
dr_con Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 A bleak existential glimpse of a numbing reality. Nice Franklin! Juris Quote thegateless.org
Benjamin Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 A plain language piece that in its way reminds me of "The Conversation of Prayer" by Dylan Thomas. Sombre yet meaningful. G. Quote
fdelano Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Thank you Juris and Geoff. Existential, yes, but somewhat pragmatic also. I thought while writing, something like: "Go gentle into that dark night." Why not? If I only knew the meaning of gentle. ;) Quote
moonqueen Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Well, I do like this! Very unlike most of what you post. I agree, more truth than fairy tale. The rhymed lines, one after the other create a sense of urgency, that caused me to read it quite rapidly, first time through, requiring additional reads. Changed my mind, I love it. Very, very nice. t Quote
fdelano Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Thanks for the good wishes, Marti. When you get to TX, wear snake-skin boots and drink Pearl beer and you'll be okay. Don't talk. ;) Quote
fdelano Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Tam, don't know what got into me. Rhyming for god's sake! I think someone wrote a Sonata on the subject, and of course some talented rhyming poets. Anyone my age who doesn't see that eternal bunk waiting is likely already brain dead. Still, we find it hard to accept the inevitable, even those who think they have 72 virgins waiting. Now that would be hell! ;) Quote
tonyv Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 You must have been listening to some Eminem when you penned this, Franklin. The pace of the poem seems to intensify almost to the point of aggression in the penultimate verse, mitigated by self-censure in the ultimate. I always enjoy your submissions. Also very much liked: "Intellect" and "Discovery." Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
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