dcmarti1 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I sleep because I am weary,Not because I am pure: And when my blanket is fully drawn About my face, the walls turn to stone From their gypsum; and the troubadours Are a floor below and not across the room As ones and zeros on a silver disc.I sleep because I am weary,Not because I am pure: And the immediate cold is dreamed A more ancient breath than it is, Striking a different bed than the one In which I drift between toss and turn, Peopled only with my form.I sleep because I am weary,Not because I am pure: And it is the Sleep of Death And not the Sleep of Peace; And it is the Sleep of Doubt And not the Sleep of Piety; And it is an unwary sleep.I sleep because I am weary,Not because I am pure: And the frosty battlements give way To modern plumbing and power; To a laptop and coffee pot; To a sometimes-remembered God Of Missal but not of my action. Quote
badger11 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Very good dcm. The refrain has clarity and is a hook. The rest is not so clear,but does provoke thought, which is a purpose of poetry, I envisaged a troubled soul, unlocked within sleep where time has no bounds and the defences are low; the dreamscape with a sense of mortality and doubt. The title led me to expect more festive mayhem, perhaps the medieval allusion could be expanded and more defined, Just a thought...always wary of that kind of feedback on this site. Have a fulfilling Christmas. all the best badge Quote
dcmarti1 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 The title led me to expect more festive mayhem, perhaps the medieval allusion could be expanded and more defined..... badge You caught it! What misrule is there HERE? Ah, none. The title (and the medieval allusion) is completely opposite of what the person is feeling. As you later correctly said, "mortality and doubt". ;) I tried to infer that the person is experiencing a yearning for the medieval age, or perhaps a past life memory. (I won't go too far, haha.) I did not want to say "there are real musicians instead of a CD player....." That first stanza may have failed. Mea culpa. Thanks for the best wishes.....same to you. Quote
David W. Parsley Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Not much to add to what has been said above, except my own admiration, dc. Happy Holidays! - Dave Quote
dr_con Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Yes indeed, another exceptional piece from an exceptional poet. The dreaminess is vivid, the hook clear and the evokation/invocation works well. Much enjoyed! Juris Quote thegateless.org
tonyv Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Interesting discussion on this terrific poem, Marti. This has a hint of Trakl, specifically James Wright's translation of Trakl's prose poem "A Winter Night." Despite the sense of distress Badge detected, in addition to this -- And it is the Sleep of the Old World And not the Sleep of the New World -- I also get a sense of a respite or relief from the last verse. To me, it seems that the narrator is in touch with history, mankind's and his own. Very much enjoyed. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
dcmarti1 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Interesting discussion on this terrific poem, Marti. This has a hint of Trakl, specifically James Wright's translation of Trakl's prose poem "A Winter Night." Despite the sense of distress Badge detected, in addition to this -- And it is the Sleep of the Old World And not the Sleep of the New World -- I also get a sense of a respite or relief from the last verse. To me, it seems that the narrator is in touch with history, mankind's and his own. Very much enjoyed. Tony Ouch. I have never heard of Trakl or Winter Night. I will have to use some other terms. (Just changed them to doubt and piety.) Quote
tonyv Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Marti, I meant it as a compliment. I was referring to the overall mood ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
dcmarti1 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Marti, I meant it as a compliment. I was referring to the overall mood ... Tony Oh, I did not take it as any other way THAN a compliment. But that is just tooooo close, haha. I am glad you enjoyed. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.