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Poetry Magnum Opus

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I dream you are

become a blank page


Clothing fades first

the color of everything

the everything of color


Your hair undone

returns prematurely

pre-sentience fibers

unwoven unfashioned

unadorned nothing


Your eyes all of one lips and teeth

indistinguishable extinguished


The white of your skin

wipes all poetry all passion

a narrative never written


Looking at each other

forlorn understanding


Is it cold?

Is it hot?

Is it up or down?


Without signifiers we cannot tell


But there is Something

what it is

words will never know.


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I sense you have

become a blank page





I dream you are

a blank page


Just a suggestion.


Agreed. Words have their limitations or at least those who use them do.





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Thanks for stopping in Badge! Excellent suggestions, but the conclusion was deliberately hinted at in the first lines. Meaning, that 'in this case' the awkwardness of the opening (Which is 'correct') sets one up for the conclusion- The need to rewrite that opening line is part of what the thematic structure of the piece is about- Now I am 'mostly' unaware of my egregious errors, but in this case your response is exactly what I was looking for;-) So thanks for playing!


I sincerely appreciate the review and my own thoughts being confirmed.


As always, many many thanks!



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