dr_con Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 The Illusion of Continuity Friends Get uncomfortable when I call a transition a little death Confronted by forty years of paperwork is it any wonder I fear the Dead Here are my divorce papers Randomly inserted love notes to selves long since go going Gone there unpaid taxes and pay and movie stubs of once dear employments and their counterbalancing enjoyments O look! A stratum of notebooks filled with utter madness a biblio of desires most met some yet to be fulfilled in some other lifetime manifestation of a greed so deep it eats the world and digests it perfectly suited for its half angel half beast host and his time bound yearnings Most profound This season of fake Springs generates excess squirrels each carrying their meaning like nuts paraded before suitors and families Look what I can do as the joke says Their message clear We are the lost parts of you scurrying at our own tempo in our own place just waiting waiting for you to remember And I do Working with my Charges Half Beasts Half Angels I want to bring this up remind them Continuity is Illusion Change is the only law and This too shall pass Cliched wisdoms pointing to the Moon What more could I my charges or these damnable squirrels ask for? Quote thegateless.org
dcmarti1 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 A stratum of notebooks filled with utter madness How sadly and utterly profound. At the FIRST mention of squirrels I just KNEW they would return. One critique: how does "Randomly inserted" vs. "Inserted randomly" ? Quote
dr_con Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Thank You for the crit! Changed, (Your the second one who saw the poem and said- Love it but not quite right;-P The first changed 3 words and you have changed the order of words- Far better piece as a result;-) Thank You... J Quote thegateless.org
dcmarti1 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Thank You for the crit! Changed, (Your the second one who saw the poem and said- Love it but not quite right;-P The first changed 3 words and you have changed the order of words- Far better piece as a result;-) Thank You... J De nada, jefe! :) Quote
dedalus Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Life is often a matter of being swallowed alive by the detritus we leave behind, the larger half of the garbage and memories we should have thrown out long ago, but couldn't quite bring ourselves to do. Now it wraps itself around us like tentacles, like seaweed, and drags us down to the depths to drown. The voice, if any, is monotone, has no real feeling: it says sorry, pal, end of the line. Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim
dr_con Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 Thanks Bren! I sincerely appreciate the critique;-) Have stopped posting 'everything' for a bit due to the lack of response, hoping it'll make me worker harder to please myself and my imagined audience- rather than the simply my fav poets here;-) Juris Quote thegateless.org
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