dr_con Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 This Old Man This old man walks between homes washes away houses grumbling like a sudden downpour in a dry river gulch mocking habits of permanence He doesn't even drive for christsakes! And he's always my age learning to say 'ball' on that blue blanket climbing feral vines among discontented orchards or a bright orange disinfectant protecting my child's surgical birth This old man rattles down the long corridors and canyons of every second He will be there when I give my last fulfilling promise made on the first. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Succinct, lucid. A self-portrait of sorts, Juris? Love the colors evoked, the "discontented" (i.e. angry) orchard and the orange disinfectant/protecting my child's/surgical birth. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 Thank You Tony! Yes indeed a meta self portrait, referring to a universal archetype and myself, simultaneously. Glad it worked for you. Many Thanks! Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Must have missed this one while I was away in July. I enjoyed your choice of language and particularly liked "This old man/ rattles down the long/ corridors and canyons/ of each second." G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 There must be a subtle message here on the play on 'homes' and 'houses' walks between homeswashes away houses The persona does not ruin homes but houses. Homes are immaterial but houses are. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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