eclipse Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 With eternity's knifei removed the maskworn in life and ona grave read twicethe name i held in life-death requires no name-my old friends the foolsbelieve they receive myguidance during a seance-who moves the glass?-I wasn't in controlwhen i passed from hometo work,work to home- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 An effective dark piece, with a wraith like purity. Very much enjoyed the gothic flairs and the spiritualist self-reflection. Enjoyed immensely, Juris Quote thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I like this for the aspects it presents. It caused me to think conversely, of when I amended a will.... and was told by an amused advisor, not to try inflict my values on the living from over the 'horizon'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 There's a lot going on here for such a short poem. I once told a loved one that it irritated me when she capitlized the first word of a title and used all lowercase letters in the rest of the words. Then I remembered. I realized she wasn't being sloppy. That's the European way in her language and even in my first language, Estonian. In any case, I don't think the title of this poem falls within the realm of "European" or sloppy. "Names" is lower case by intent. It evokes a lowliness, a sense of inferiority, as do the cummingsesque lower case i's (which I ordinarily don't care for though they seem to work here), that's prevalent throughout the poem. It all ties together nicely with the last lines: I wasn't in controlwhen i passed from hometo work,work to home- The speaker's submissive tone is offset with a slight, almost pleasing arrogance, and that blend from his life persona has carried over to his death persona. "I removed the mask worn in life" is fresh. Nice work, Barry. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.