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Poetry Magnum Opus

names


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With eternity's knife
i removed the mask
worn in life and on
a grave read twice
the name i held in life-
death requires no name
-my old friends the fools
believe they receive my
guidance during a seance-
who moves the glass?-
I wasn't in control
when i passed from home
to work,work to home-

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An effective dark piece, with a wraith like purity. Very much enjoyed the gothic flairs and the spiritualist self-reflection.

 

Enjoyed immensely,

 

Juris

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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I like this for the aspects it presents. It caused me to think conversely, of when I amended a will.... and was told by an amused advisor, not to try inflict my values on the living from over the 'horizon'. :smile:

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There's a lot going on here for such a short poem. I once told a loved one that it irritated me when she capitlized the first word of a title and used all lowercase letters in the rest of the words. Then I remembered. I realized she wasn't being sloppy. That's the European way in her language and even in my first language, Estonian. In any case, I don't think the title of this poem falls within the realm of "European" or sloppy. "Names" is lower case by intent. It evokes a lowliness, a sense of inferiority, as do the cummingsesque lower case i's (which I ordinarily don't care for though they seem to work here), that's prevalent throughout the poem. It all ties together nicely with the last lines:

 

 

I wasn't in control
when i passed from home
to work,work to home-

 

 

The speaker's submissive tone is offset with a slight, almost pleasing arrogance, and that blend from his life persona has carried over to his death persona. "I removed the mask worn in life" is fresh. Nice work, Barry.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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