Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

I Hear You


Randver Askmadr
 Share

Recommended Posts

Randver Askmadr

I hear you when you whisper

I hear you when you shout

I hear you when you cry

I hear you when you doubt

I hear you when you're sleeping

I hear you when you dream

I hear you in the darkness

I hear you when you scream

I hear you try to save them

I hear you call their names

I hear you question living

I hear you take the blame

I see your body tensing

I see your deathly fright

I see your frightened visage

When you hear a noise at night

Post-traumatic stress disorder

That's what the doctors say

You can't do it all alone

Call someone today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome aboard our pretty small but friendly poetry forum! I see you got off to a good start with this piece.

Just a word or two about some of the lines ...

 

I hear you call their names

I hear you question living

I hear you take the blame

I hear you call (a/ his/ her/my) name

I hear you question living

I hear you take the blame

(just to get rid of that pesky plural 's')

I see your frightened visage

When you hear a noise at night

I see your frightened visage

(at the) noises of the night

You can't do it all alone

Call someone today.

(Since/ If) you can't do it all alone

Call (in) someone today.

These latter two suggestions are meant to help the lines scan.

Finally, there is no need to listen to me or anyone else - particularly a rogue called "fdelano",

Best wishes, dedalus (Brendan)

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I echo Bren's welcome. Military PTSD is a difficult subject to write about unless perhaps you've experienced it at close quarters. It seems to be much better understood these days though I'm sure a sufferer finds little consolation in that. I hope you enjoy it here and find the responses to your postings friendly and useful. Tinker's excellent reference section alone is well worth spending time on. Benjamin (Geoff.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Randver Askmadr

Thanks Benjamin and Brendan. I look forward to reading all the responces. I just started writing poetry about a year ago. I have 68 poems so far. Some better than others.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Randver Askmadr

Yes I was in the first Gulf War. Don't know as I had PTSD, but something changed in me while I was there. A lot of my friends are Iraq/ Afghanistan vets so they had a lot more time and stress to develop PTSD. I do what I can to help.

 

You will see some poems that have a medieval flair. I do recreations from that era. I am a 10 century Norse merchant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.