goldenlangur Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 October dusk on crutches I watch a bulbul watch me does it see my plastered leg a seasonal oddity? goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Ahh....the bulbul....! in our country there is a bird we call 'Bulbuli' having larger tail and edged lump in its head. a beautiful bird like this is becoming rare these days. one question: is this a haiku? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hi Golden, I like this occasional poem. The line "I watch/a bulbul watch me" reminds me of a Chinese classical poem by Li Po, where he wrote something like he looked at the mountain and the mountain looked at him... The last word "oddity" is a good choice of word, it has a kind of helpless humor(not sure if the term is right) in it. All the best, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hello Rony, I think the 'bulbuli' is the Bengali word for the bulbul. It's been at least five years or more since this bird has remained in the cooler hills in our part of the Himalayas rather than migrate to the Indian plains as it used to do. So we get to enjoy their presence and songs for longer now - past the harvest time, their usual time of migration. But with so much development in Bangladesh, India and even here - we will lose many more of these birds. Thank you for asking about the form - it is called tanka, a 1300 years old Japanese poetic form, older cousin of the haiku but very similar in that it too uses images of nature but usually with a 'turn in emotion and reference in the second half or the last two lines of the poem. The tanka allows for lyrical details and emotion, unlike the haiku. It is a poem of longing, wistfulness and was popular among the ladies of the Japanese court as a love poem. Tink has some excellent material on this form in the Asian Poetic Forms Forum. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hi Lake, Li Po is sublime and I'm both humbled and excited that he came to mind in the lines you quote. Yes, you've understood very well the 'helplessness' here. Thank you for your insightful comments. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 October duskon crutches I watch a bulbul watch me does it see my plastered leg a seasonal oddity? goldenlangur well expressed, and even the bad happening makes an inspiration what we use in our poetry. I love how you express your feelings. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I like the "inspired by real events" characteristic of this tanka, Goldenlangur. In the same spirit as Lake's Li Po reference, the lines about the bulbul watching you bring to mind some song lyrics from the soundtrack for the movie "The Insider": I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me To see me looking back at you ------------------------------------------------------(Massive Attack "Safe From Harm") I get the same feeling from your tanka -- you watch the bulbul, and it watches you. October dusk is fantastic. What you said to Bloodyday about the tanka being used as a love poem is inspiring. It makes me want to someday write one. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Have you been plastered recently Golden? Welcome back by the way. Missed you. I have no Tanka knowledge, seems like an haiku. But like the sounds. Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hello Frank, You're not far off the mark - the tanka does have a haiku-like first 3 lines and then 2 more lines where the emotional impact (longing, irony, sadness etc) is delivered. Thank you for asking - mercifully my 'plastered' days are now over and I'm walking again. So glad that you liked the 'sounds' here. How warm your welcome! Thank you. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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