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Poetry Magnum Opus

Swallows fly..


Benjamin
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1

Swallows fly from lands beyond all tears;

past totems, terraces and minarets.

Welcome invaders.. following the sun

to join a stateless lengthening of days.

Springtime is early, yet no one knows why:

but horses, still unsure, graze in their coats.

And tractors, snail their mud trails on the road,

eager to leave cold gloomy days behind.

Our blue and yellow ribbons of hyacinths

and daffodils.. weave through the dormant grass;

brown-grained with mulch, from freshly lumbered trees,

whose scents lift poet's words to more than just

a wailing wall for wintry thoughts,where dirge

and lamentation are recited.

 

2

Swallows fly from lands beyond all tears:

past totems, terraces and minarets.

Benign invaders.. following the sun

to join a stateless putsch of longer days.

Springtime is early, yet no one knows why:

but horses, still unsure, graze in their coats,

and tractors.. snail their mud trails on the road

for drivers, keen to leave the cold behind.

Blue and yellow ribbons of hyacinths

and daffodils, weave through the dormant grass:

brown-grained with mulch from freshly lumbered trees;

whose scents lift poet's words to more than just

a wailing wall for winter-driven thoughts,

where dirge and lamentation are recited.

3

Swallows fly from lands beyond all tears:

past totems, terraces and minarets.

Benign invaders .. following the sun

to join a stateless lengthening of days.

Springtime is early yet no one knows why:

but horses, still unsure, graze in their coats..

and tractors, snail their mud trails on the road

for drivers.. keen to leave the cold behind.

Blue and yellow ribbons of hyacinths

and daffodils, weave through the dormant grass:

brown-grained with mulch from lumbered trees; whose scents

can lift a poet's words, from more than just

a wailing wall for winter-driven thoughts,

where dirge and lamentation are recited.

4

Swallows fly from lands beyond all tears:

past totems, terraces and minarets.

Benign invaders.. following the sun

to join a stateless lengthening of days.

Springtime is early yet no one knows why:

but horses, still unsure, graze in their coats,

and tractors.. snail their mud trails on the road

for drivers, keen to leave the cold behind.

Blue and yellow ribbons of hyacinths

and daffodils, weave through the dormant grass:

brown-grained with mulch from lumbered oaks and elms;

whose scents lift poet's words to more than just

a wailing wall for winter-driven thoughts,

where dirge and lamentation are recited.

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Either mythic or mystic, I am not sure, but I love this:

 

past totems, terraces and minarets

 

Absolutely redolent is this:

 

brown-grained with mulch, from freshly lumbered

trees

 

Great! But I think that should be a comma and a lower case "whose" right after....

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Thanks Marti. and Barry It's another 3.am procession... an insomniacs meanderings of the previous day.

Had to net it quickly just in case the words (like politician's) flew off with the birds... Now there's a thought. :biggrin:

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Hi Geoff, I am glad I popped in to read just one poem this morning before getting on with my day and I chose this one. Best way to start a day, reading a beautiful poem like this. One that opens the mind to all possibilities. Each painted image brought another to my mind. Thank you so much.

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Your words are much appreciated Tink. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. G.

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hi B.

 

I prefer

 

to join a stateless lengthening of days.

 

to

 

to join a stateless putsch of longer days.

 

I like those 'l' sounds.

 

Not sure about

 

a wailing wall for wintry thoughts,where dirge

and lamentation are recited.

 

or

 

a wailing wall for winter-driven thoughts,

where dirge and lamentation are recited.

 

Kinda like both :smile: Perhaps more symmetry in the second.

 

brown-grained with mulch, from freshly lumbered trees,

whose scents lift poet's words to more than just

 

Do you need freshly or that comma after mulch?

 

Either way a very enjoyable read.

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Thanks for your time and valuable feedback badge. Will consider these points carefully in my next revision. Best... B.

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Absolutely Lovely, truly a Breath of Fresh air! Enjoyed a great deal, would even recommend removing all the punctuation -- Just for a Lark (or a swallow) To see how it reads;-) Loved this profound simplicity: horses still unsure, graze in their coats.

 

Appreciation!

 

Juris

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

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brown-grained with mulch from lumbered oaks and elms;

whose scents lift poet's words to more than just

 

Just a thought B.

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Thanks badge. A subtle change that also adds positivity to the ensuing cadence... will give it another look. Cheers. B.

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