eclipse Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Cast across town my skeleton's shadow is privy to the wind's internal dialogue. A vagrant does not make sense to the trance of blank faces beneath a sun's autistic fire; I do not have the satellite of work to transmit an identity, The night scatters it's cards to the kings and queens, some are not meant to reach the games ascent, their provenance unknown, I am shown a route by the moon an ambulance-to angels without wings that parachute out of graves. A ventriloquist experiences his dummy's dreams, flesh and wood and blood won't mesh-those with homes tremble at the distant caress of the concrete wilderness. A dummy is pregnant with fire his master cannot reach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 A ventriloquist experiences his dummy's dreams. That is thought provoking and twisted. Nice piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Agree- Nice dark piece... I could easily see it introducing a steampunk novel! Dr. Con Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 some excellent phrases: ...a sun's autistic fire;/ ...the satellite of work to transmit an identity, Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Stark imagery that's not too distant from illusions of a society most believe we live in. All the better for not being tied to end-line rhyme. Well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Highly original. Particularly like, "Angels without wings parachute out of graves." (I took the liberty of removing "to" and "that".) Only two incidences of "fire," "reach," and "dummy." All other repetition temptations supplanted with creative turns of phrase and observation. I like all the images mentioned previously. "Sun's autistic fire" is a case of poetic revelation. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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