goldenlangur Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 up and down the stairs on my own I go today each tread is a step away from the entombment of pain goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 goldenlangur wrote: up and down the stairs on my own I go today each tread is a step away from the entombment of pain goldenlangur This is one wonderful compact composition, caged very well, with wonderful thoughts and expressions. GL I love the ending part: each tread is a step away from the entombment of pain It is very poetical and deep. Sounds very original my friend. This tanka give me a picture from life. All the time the life is up and down, and then on the end you show the reason for hope, in all ways. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem Golden Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hi Golden, As Alex said, up and down can refer to ups and downs in one's life as well. And the ending is really promising. When I read "each tread is a step", I immediately thought of "a step closer to tomb". But yours is the opposite. Great. What an inspirational moment! Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hello Aleksandra and Lake, I like very much how you've both read the 'ups and downs' in life itself here but also the note of hope. Lake - 'a step closer to tomb' conveys very well how the immobility and pain felt. So please don't feel I'm very grateful to you both. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi Golden, I've never broken a bone, and I imagine the pain to be excruciating. Entombment indicates that the pain -- physical, perhaps even psychological -- is deeply embedded. Nevertheless, the healing process is underway. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi Tony, Thank you for your thoughtful words. Yes, you've put your finger on the 'physical' and 'psychological' imprisonment a broken bone can engender. The initial pain when the tibia broke is indescribable - tearless agony and shock. I hope to God, my friend that you never break a bone and that you will be spared the agony that follows. But now, as you can see, I can hobble around and do some work so the healing is well underway. Thank you so much. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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