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up and down- tanka


goldenlangur
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goldenlangur

up and down the stairs

on my own I go

today

each tread is a step away

from the entombment of pain

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

goldenlangur wrote:

 

up and down the stairs

on my own I go

today

each tread is a step away

from the entombment of pain

 

 

 

goldenlangur

 

This is one wonderful compact composition, caged very well, with wonderful thoughts and expressions.

 

GL I love the ending part:

 

each tread is a step away

from the entombment of pain

 

It is very poetical and deep. Sounds very original my friend. This tanka give me a picture from life. All the time the life is up and down, and then on the end you show the reason for hope, in all ways.

 

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem Golden

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Hi Golden,

 

As Alex said, up and down can refer to ups and downs in one's life as well. And the ending is really promising. When I read "each tread is a step", I immediately thought of "a step closer to tomb". icon_redface.gif But yours is the opposite. Great.

 

What an inspirational moment!

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hello Aleksandra and Lake,

 

I like very much how you've both read the 'ups and downs' in life itself here but also the note of hope.

 

Lake - 'a step closer to tomb' conveys very well how the immobility and pain felt. So please don't feel icon_redface.gif

 

I'm very grateful to you both.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Golden,

 

I've never broken a bone, and I imagine the pain to be excruciating. Entombment indicates that the pain -- physical, perhaps even psychological -- is deeply embedded. Nevertheless, the healing process is underway.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

Thank you for your thoughtful words. Yes, you've put your finger on the 'physical' and 'psychological' imprisonment a broken bone can engender. The initial pain when the tibia broke is indescribable - tearless agony and shock.

 

I hope to God, my friend that you never break a bone and that you will be spared the agony that follows.

 

But now, as you can see, I can hobble around and do some work so the healing is well underway.

 

Thank you so much.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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