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Poetry Magnum Opus

I read of your demise in the gazette


Benjamin
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it's ages since I heard your name

paddled canoes in the same mill pond

then went our ways and ne-er the twain

until the crematorium

 

a packed house with no room to spare

and each of us a tale to tell

of what a bloody rogue you were

but how you always made us smile

 

some said you'd not amount to much

though I can't help feeling envious

of your energy and magic touch

as I look across the centre pews

 

that seat your smiling well kept brides

one Scot one English and two Thais

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Killer final line !!! Very jolly for an elegy but I'm sure "the departed" would have approved.

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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Not exactly like, but reminded me of (for some reason), Spoon River Anthology. Clever construction. My obit won't be this neat!

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Irreverently humorous, but so was he.. With hindsight... "No flowers please and just bright clothes!" Would have made a more apt title. :smile:

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  • 2 weeks later...
David W. Parsley

Hi Geoff, the shift to tetrameter well suits this light-hearted "sonnet light." Good combination of slant-rhyme and assonance with feminine and hermaphrodite rhyme, heightening the sense of surprise and whimsy. Cute and naughty, with just enough nostalgia.

 

Enjoyed,

- Dave

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