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Poetry Magnum Opus

Wide Screen


JoelJosol
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Your icon appeared in my wide-screen

laptop, like a flash of lightning,

an electric discharge, yielding

to the strength of attraction

between opposites, of protons

and electrons who orbit around

a nucleus, the apparent center

of things, to re-arrange

their structure,

through chemical reactions,

making my eyes gleam,

for example, from the reflection.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Frank E Gibbard

Your grasp of technospeak matches that of poetry and writing styles Joel. Frank

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goldenlangur

I agree with Frank's comment. Certainly a good use of contemporary technological images with a twist of love/longing!

 

 

 

Enjoyed this very much.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Thank you so much, Frank and GL.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Aleksandra

Joel, it remands me of your old opus of poetry. I like this one.

The beginning is very nice:

 

Your icon appeared in my wide-screen

laptop, like a flash of lightning,

 

And the end, your example:

For example, making my eyes gleam

from the reflection.

 

Not easy to write something like this, right? icon_smile.gif

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Joel,

 

I've read it several times. You must've been working on your laptop a lot recently. icon_smile.gif

As others have said you linked technology well with personal feelings. One thing I find it rare and interesting is that it is just one sentence from line one to line ten before the last two lines. I admire your skills of doing this. I'm also hesitant to ask if the phrase For example at the beginning of the next line can be omitted, like

 

through chemical reactions,

making my eyes gleam

from the reflection.

 

This way, it is truly a one sentence poem. But what do I know? Just a silly thought.

 

Enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

Lake

 

 

 

JoelJosol wrote:

 

Your icon appeared in my wide-screen

laptop, like a flash of lightning,

an electric discharge, yielding

to the strength of attraction

between opposites, of protons

and electrons who orbit around

a nucleus, the apparent center

of things, to re-arrange

their structure,

through chemical reactions.

For example, making my eyes gleam

from the reflection.

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Lake, I've been chewing on that thought for a while. Glad, you raised it up.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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