Benjamin Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 When a bird shits on your head It's good luck my granny said But she'd never seen the gulls in Perranporth You can't walk along the street With fresh fish and chips to eat For fear of being bombed and mugged-- or worse All the crap in human waste Seems to alter Nature's taste For they act like hyper kids with O.C.D. And up and down our coast Where bold antics once were jokes They're protected-- what a major irony From landfill sites to bins They've no fear of human things As they nest on ledge and flat-roof primed to go And if Hitchcock were allowed To peer down from Heaven's shroud I'm sure he'd smile and say "I told you so!" Fertilisers washed from soil And the spillages of oil Mix with the stuff that passed through you and me Make a cocktail of the tides Turning Jekylls into Hydes And they take just what they want-- beside the sea Oh the herring gulls are strong And their lives are decades long And they'll never let a good feed pass them by For they're hooked on Macky-Dees And leftover K.F.C.'s And it's a bloody good job grazing cows can't fly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 11, 2016 Author Share Posted July 11, 2016 A little pointed food-chain humour for a change :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 I am sitting in a library laughing out loud. It feels so good to laugh from the belly up THANK YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstrect-christ Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Haha I'm still one of those hyper kids with a slight case of OCD. Like The Birds reference; the mans a master of mystery and suspense theatre. Thanks for the laugh. Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Hits the target in so many ways. best badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I was so busy laughing, I forgot to reply;-) Much needed . Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 23, 2016 Author Share Posted July 23, 2016 In a UK news item last week, a large gull was pictured-- spreading its wings to open the automatic door of a shopping mart. It walked in, stole a bag of crisps from a display stand; then, spreading wings again, opened the door to exit and make off with its prize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Very timely Geoff, this was the perfect poem for me to read tonight. You lifted my spirits. I just returned from a 2 week trip back east with my son and grandchildren. While I was gone my husband ended up having double bypass heart surgery. He drove down to the VA Hospital in San Francisco for some scheduled tests the day after I left on my trip and 2 weeks later he is still there. I flew home for the surgery which was this Monday and had to retrieve my car that had been parked at the hospital which looks out on the Pacific Ocean. My car is covered with gull droppings baked on in over a week of sun and I am going to have to take it to be detailed to get it cleaned up. My husband is doing amazingly well although he is still having a lot of pain which is normal after an 8 hour surgery. The VA gets a lot of bad press but our experience has been really wonderful. Efficient, thorough, caring staff have helped him through this tough time. Thanks for the laugh. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 Hi Tink. Hope all now goes well for you and yours. We have a saying for trying times - "You have to laugh or you'd just cry." Re: birds. There's a certain irony as my wife puts out feeders etc: hoping to attract the garden birds, yet constantly complains about pigeons, magpies and gulls who always seem to get there first. Still... we do have a cat.. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 Everything's been said above, Geoff. Keep the bovines grounded! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Loved this, and the poem. Yes, it did make me smile! Needed it. In a UK news item last week, a large gull was pictured-- spreading its wings to open the automatic door of a shopping mart. It walked in, stole a bag of crisps from a display stand; then, spreading wings again, opened the door to exit and make off with its prize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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