Frank E Gibbard Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 The construction may have been precipitately wrought, But solidly put together its many architects had thought; It had been unveiled to the world a controversial sight, A work in human form exposed to probing partial light. Structures of this nature tend to be imperfectly hewed, This one was imbued with a thin veneer of verisimilitude; Not true enough though to stand the molten heat of day, And would like a nebulous mirage simply dissipate away. Hardly another David it was chiseled for shock and awe, Artifice made out of snow was what a world of critics saw; A pipe then a collateral carrot would drop in a telling arc, What price this offensive melted mess called victory in Iraq? Quote
Bloodyday Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Today i can recall a lady's silent scream of Iraq hearing long time ago in a journal, but from where i don't know.i was just mesmerized and overwhelmed to what to express when i go through a line," does the stars shine like yesterday? if it is the same, then let there be smile for my hungry child." she always talked to herself when she was selling her body for the money. she had three kids to feed and her husband was no more. i go through your poem and it has no doubt that it is pointing out about a rich culture and the last line concludes: What price this offensive melted mess called victory in Iraq? many people are saying 15th December is 'Shoe throwing day'. but i am watching a play: a beast killed another beast to reign and innocent people is shedding tears. should i love that brutality? RoNy Quote
dr_con Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Frank, a surprising and well turned poem-- One of your best recent works, chilling... Many Thanks, DC Quote thegateless.org
tonyv Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 You develop the architect/construction metaphor well from beginning to end. How the artifice made out of snow transforms into the offensive melted mess is fantastic. This poem brings to mind Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" (Evil minds that plot destruction/Sorcerers of death construction). Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
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