The Nasher Couplet

[Jay O'Toole]

Well, Dear Ms. Tinker, you are becoming quite famous at The Poet's Place Cafe.  

This week's challenge there is simply titled, "Nashers."

The following is today's post on my personal blog,

https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/915307-Nashers-My-Towns-Got-Talent

which I will copy to The Poet's Place Cafe as I am copying it here as well.

My comfort level, regarding this style, is considerably less than with my favor format,

but I believe I have achieved the spirit of the verse in a way that is not too adverse.  

 

We have talents that we hope are best or good enough,

Yet we shoot our feet, when giving out just verbal fluff.

 

We can live our lives as wondrous funny and wise souls,

When we are as we were made to be, not fawning, grovelly trolls.

 

We wonder if our writing's worthy to be shown and read,

But our worthless writing's that we refused to pen 'fore dead.

 

We must cast away our demons that do trouble us with doubt,

For it's time that they should find a shady corner and just pout.

 

by Jay O'Toole

on July 13th, 2017

 

For more about these witticisms invented by Ogden Nash

just peruse the following links.

https://poeticbloomings2.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/in-form-poet-wednesday-with-rj-clarken-the-nasher/

http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/forums/topic/997-ii-the-couplet-the-nasher-couplet/

As you will notice Dr. Dave cited your post from June 1st, 2009 as background information, regarding the Ogden Nash verse.

[Tinker]

Hi Jay,  I like where you are going with this poem but I think you might have missed the mark a little in both intent and rhythm. Think satire with a little silliness.  The rhythm, whatever you choose should be easy and natural.  This is just my opinion.  I am impressed you took on the challenge, satire isn't easy and as you stated it is out of your comfort zone.   Mine too.  Even though I described it, you notice I didn't offer any example of my own.  If you would change your tag above to nasher rather than nashers, it will link this thread to my article.

This is an obscure one, I like that someone is challenging others to write with this technique in mind.  I would love to see exactly how the challenge was presented.   A Nasher is normally a couplet among couplets.  (That is something I didn't state in my original description of the technique and I have just edited the article to include that.  Your post brought that to my attention.  Thank you.)    I think you would need to be a stand up comic writer to come up with one after another.   

Famous or Blamous?

When we seek praise most sumptuous 
we are bound to fall and feel the lumptuous.
There are those complacent in their talent,
then those who hone the craft most gallant.
It's the first who descends into mundanity
while wallowing in unearned vanity.
In the second you will find persistence,
it is they who will run the distance.

Keep them coming,  ~~ Tink

[Jay O'Toole]

Thanks, Tink.  I edited the tag to link with your post.

You're right.  It is challenging, but I will try to press on, writing more.