Tinker Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 I Love Rock and Roll I like my poems short and neat reading or writing I prefer to be brief. Some go on and on without relief meter goes long, I nod off to the beat. Gilgamesh, the Illiad, Canterbury Tales, to read them in full you'll hear my wails. "put another dime in the juke box baby" "condense, condense, condense" aren't those the words of Whitman, so what's up with Leaves of Grass? That goes on forever, . . . Amen. But if I could write like that . . . I'd fill the page with dynamite and stop rhyming rat-a-tat-tat. "put another dime in the juke box baby" In writing this lyric, I've broken my rule, my words keep rambling on and on. Hope you're awake to the end of my song But to my seeking brain I add a new tool. And though the haiku I will not abort, I vow to be open to both long and short. "put another dime in the juke box baby" * ~~~ Judi Van Gorder*Joan Jett's I love Rock and Roll Bop Verse Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Hahah, love it! :) so what's up with Leaves of Grass?That goes on forever, . . . Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Burton Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Tinker, The line, "I'd fill the page with dynamite," is such a wonderful expression for a feature of composition that I've always admired in the best poets. -Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 Thanks for commenting Marti, I have probably read the entire Leaves of Grass a couple of times but only in snippets and not in order. But I kneel at the alter. Yes Michael, The energy in Whitman's writing blows me away. He wears me out. One of my favorites. Dynamite. Thanks for reading and commenting. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 The refrain makes me think this poem should be sung to the music of the song. Is there a form where one does that? Anyway, I would have to go back and listen to the song to see if it would work, but I can't do that, can't get sidetracked. I'd get caught up in the endless slew of throwback favorites. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 Ha ha Tony, I don't know, I was going to write my own refrain but for some reason that song and specifically that line came playing over and over in my head while I was writing. I actually wrote it between stanzas only for a spacer and I was going to go back and replace the line with my own but for me it worked and I never came up with my own line. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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