social issue poem Right of Passage

[Terry L shuff]

• The sirens wail declares approach of Night,
• Now phantom peacefulness of day is pierced
• Eyes are cast, towards the fading light, The role of fear, performs, so well rehearsed.
• Twilights calm relinquished  to the past.The stewardship of day has passed the torch,
• Once again  the  young men claim the streets, the deadly  war of nations THEY repeat.
• Held as Hostage, are the small and great
• The lawless ones
•                      Have  Right of Passage claimed
•           T L SHUFF.

[Tinker]

Ouch!  Pretty disturbing and unfortunately this element does exist. It brings to my mind city streets and gang violence, but it isn't just young men. Women play their role too. Law enforcement is stretched thin in this regard and Gang Enforcement is a specialized field.  I'm assuming the bullets accompanying your piece are making a statement. 

~~Tink

[tonyv]

An interesting composition in iambic pentameter (if you break up L3, L4, & L5 in the middle as I think you meant to), Terry. I'm not sure if that's what you intended, but the meter is flawless.

I most like how you handle the content, how you compare what happens on the streets to "the deadly war of nations." That's a powerful metaphor.

Despite the fact that this affects the many, there is a sense of detachment, of being aware of this from, thankfully, the safety of one's living room, like watching a movie, or "West Side Story" ...

Tony