tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Fresh Federation snow on the hoods, trunks, and window glass of cars in a half-filled lot. Her legs, with the bass between and kick-drum on the beats, took me a long, hard way from pravda. The inside of her Volvo was still warm. _____________IMAGE Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I like the sonics of this poem, the mood it creates, and the sudden shift of setting. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi Tony, Seduction, hopes of a union (Federation) and disillusionment is what comes across. I could be wrong but it seems that your poem turns on the Slavic (?) word "Pravda" meaning a "higher truth" or "justice". The allusion to the "Volvo", a Swedish company taken over by Ford, an American company, seems to suggest a blurring of boundaries ? Wonderful sonority and enjambment in your poem. Of course my muddled reading takes nothing away from your brilliant work. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hello Tony. I really can't catch your style of writing You seems lost looking for your way of writing. You are writing so differently , different styles . This poems seems so different by that what I have read from you. This interesting poem, confused me and surprised me :). When I looked at first in the title I start to wonder, how you got inspiration for to write about Ukraina :). After all this poem sounds to me passionate - erotic? Yes Pravda I understood what means because we use the same word for justice, truth. Volvo I know the cars, but in here, is Volvo mean Volvo - the car? Your poem looks like a journey. I saw the photo of Ukraina Hotel in Moscow. Looks wonderful. Thank you for sharing this poem and welcome back out of your bad writer's block Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Refreshingly cool....like a WHITE RUSSIAN drink at a bar....with this New England weather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 the whole five lines are moving and sounds an excitement of joyful feelings drumming in my mind. so what should i say-----another tonyv production or another immortal impression? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 I like the sonics of this poem, the mood it creates, and the sudden shift of setting. Thanks Joel! I was experimenting with the beat, and I'm especially glad you took note of it. I'm glad you liked the mood, too. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi Tony, Seduction, hopes of a union (Federation) and disillusionment is what comes across. I could be wrong but it seems that your poem turns on the Slavic (?) word "Pravda" meaning a "higher truth" or "justice". The allusion to the "Volvo", a Swedish company taken over by Ford, an American company, seems to suggest a blurring of boundaries ? Wonderful sonority and enjambment in your poem. Of course my muddled reading takes nothing away from your brilliant work. goldenlangur Wow, Golden! I love your take on "Federation." I was actually simply referring to the Russian Federation, and I had not caught the double meaning when I wrote the poem. The blurring of boundaries is a key aspect, and I'm pleased that the use of Volvo amplifies the effect. That, too, just happens to be a stroke of luck, since I consciously missed the connection when I wrote the poem. And seduction accompanied by disillusionment perfectly sums up the reference to "pravda," or truth. Pravda is also the name of a nightclub in Boston, and it could very well be the name of a nightclub within a hotel anywhere, but that's an allusion I wouldn't expect anyone to catch. Thanks also for your kind compliment on the sonority. I'm pleased with the way this poem came across. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hello Alekk , Quote aleksandra wrote: This interesting poem, confused me and surprised me :). I like that it did that! Quote aleksandra wrote: When I looked at first in the title I start to wonder, how you got inspiration for to write about Ukraina :). After all this poem sounds to me passionate - erotic? Hey, don't forget that I speak Estonian, and Ukraina is also the word for the Ukraine in that language. And I have to admit that, to me also, the poem has an erotic undercurrent. Quote aleksandra wrote: Yes Pravda I understood what means because we use the same word for justice, truth. I am certainly aware of the similarities between Macedonian and Russian (both being Slavic languages), so I am only mildly surprised that pravda is the same in both. Quote aleksandra wrote: Volvo I know the cars, but in here, is Volvo mean Volvo - the car? Da, Sandre, Volvo is the car, despite what else it could sound like. Quote aleksandra wrote: Your poem looks like a journey. I saw the photo of Ukraina Hotel in Moscow. Looks wonderful. Thank you for sharing this poem and welcome back out of your bad writer's block I promised to share with you the image that inspired this poem, Alek. I tried hard to find it on Google Image (where I originally saw it) but could not. Luckily, I had saved it to my hard drive, so here it is. (I have no idea who took the photo.) -- And thanks for your kind welcome back from the writer's block! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Refreshingly cool....like a WHITE RUSSIAN drink at a bar....with this New England weather. Thanks, Pawnshop! Yea, it's certainly been hot here in the northeast. But I see you prefer the stronger White Russian ... I myself would probably stick with the more-girly kahlua sombrero -- those probably go down easy all night long! Nice to see you! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 the whole five lines are moving and sounds an excitement of joyful feelings drumming in my mind. so what should i say-----another tonyv production or another immortal impression? I'm excited by your words, and I'm glad you liked this poem! One thing's for sure, it's certainly no Cecil B. DeMille production ... But I kind of like "tonyv production"! Nice to see you again, Bloodyday! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billydo Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 This is an excellent picture IMHO. Wonderful writing to revisit. Thanks Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thank you, Mike! This poem has fared better than I expected. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 tonyv wrote: Fresh, Federation snow on the hoods, trunks, and window glass of cars in a half-filled lot -- her legs (with the bass between and kick-drum on the beats) took me a long, hard way from Pravda; the inside of her Volvo was still warm. I really really like this! Im calling it a "Hot Damn!" poem- as in the expression, "Hot Damn, thats good!" *best spoken with cowboy drawl* I was led here by the teasing Tony was giving Alek on another thread, about this poem being one of Alek's favs (or not...) there was some jabbing and some defending going on there (tease tease tease) and so I just had to come and see... ok, so I do have to say- Im mostly getting innuendo and an erotic spiceiness from this- but, you know- guy to guy Tony, THATs whats so cool about it... the way I see it, you pulled of a great bit of eroticism without any slime- and that is just really good stuff to pull off... >>>In my Humble opinion, that is<<< Im inspired to see if I can try the same (again, appologies if this is not anywhere in your original intent - but I am freely admitting my reading of it this way- and my admiration for the work) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 I like it! Thank you, Rumisong for resurrecting Ukraina Hotel. I think it's better than my more recent stuff. Your read of it is right there. In line with what you are saying, I was trying to capture a nightclub environment, where anything can happen -- In trance music the bass falls between the beat (one &), while the kick drum falls on the beat. (from Wikipedia) -- and I'm glad it came across as tastefully done. Alek admitted later that the poem grew on her, too. Thanks for your kind reply! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Fresh Federation snow on the hoods, trunks,and window glass of cars in a half-filled lot -- her legs (with the bass between and kick-drum on the beats) took me a long, hard way from Pravda; the inside of her Volvo was still warm. Hey Tony it has been awhile, but waiting to read this was worth it. This is a gem of a small poem. Sensual, reflective, a little melancholy all blend into one of your best. I loved it. ~~Tink Can I question the comma after Fresh? Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thank you, Tinker. First, it's nice to see you again, as always, and I hope your holidays and everything else have been going well. I'm excited that you like this poem. When you didn't reply before, I thought you didn't care for it. Tinker wrote: Can I question the comma after Fresh? Definitely. I agree that it doesn't belong there, so I will remove it. Thanks for catching that and for pointing it out. If you liked this poem, you might like another short one written around the same time. Allow me to shamelessly provide a link to it --Mongolia. I haven't written anything new in awhile, but I hope to have another short one coming soon. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 tonyv wrote:I like it! Thank you, Rumisong for resurrecting Ukraina Hotel. I think it's better than my more recent stuff. Don't be so modest Tony :) . You have a lot of good recent stuffs. Should I start to talk again? tonyv wrote: Alek admitted later that the poem grew on her, too. Tony Yes thats right. I admitted when I went deeper into it. But I had my own reasons why I didn't like a lot at the beginning :icon_razz: . But now - I like this one, and Industry too Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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