Terry L shuff Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 The pages so old, Too fragile for fingers to touch. Her secrets , still safe. Senryu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Like it Terry. Maybe you could compress further? Quote The old pages Too fragile for fingers Her secrets made safe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry L shuff Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 I see that. more Basho original thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Yes, Terry, from back in the days of the honor system when one could trust that another probably would not read something as personal as his diary (book). Unfortunately, these days I'll have to opt for an encrypted file on my computer and smartphone. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry L shuff Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Hello Tony , I encryped my android, a while back, maybe hacking will become come an Olympic sport Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Quote maybe hacking will become come an Olympic sport Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Theme lends itself well to senryu with its brevity and apparent transparency, wit. (A purist might demure that it does not imply a season of the year, but modern treatments have moved away from that "requirement" mostly.) I endorse Badger's further contraction as being in concert with the form's movement generally and your topic specifically. If you wish to preserve the classic 5-7-5 syllable pattern, you might also consider something like: The pages have aged Crumble for browsing fingers Her secrets are safe I like this poem! Thanks for sharing. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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