JoelJosol Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 shadows on the river- marching army trounces the full-moon. on the gate, moon lits the boots of thousand soldiers. from the throne, host-king falls over meat and wine. Trying my hand with haiku :-) Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Joel, Wow, These are very intense. Very real. Very scary. Ancient history that actually brought to mind contemporary names, Mugabe popped in my head. Form Just a note: haiku, you use lots of articles that are used minimally in haiku, but then again, eliminating them changes the tone, and that I would not mess with. #2 L2 typo or is there a reason for "lits" instead of "lights"? The poem comes first. Form second. Very effective, emotionally charge poems. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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