Clubland

[tonyv]

She left it all behind; there's no one here.
For all the drinks, whatever else we wanted,
I had her heat and everything she flaunted --
to drink her eyes, her hands, her mouth, her smile --
and all of it was wine a little while.
A drop from the top -- why this fall? Undaunted,
she left it all behind

to be alive, and I'm not anywhere.
Another bottle for this oenophile --
it's for stupidity that I'm on trial
like Bendrix at the end of the affair.
She left it all behind.
_______________________________________________
The End of the Affair -- a novel by British author Graham Greene
with several film adaptations

[badger11]

Hi Tony,

            Enjoyed reading. The hardness of wanted/flaunted/undaunted softened by smile/while/oenophile/trial. The sounds reinforce that consumption of experience and that longing, for enough is never enough. 

best

Phil

[tonyv]

Thanks, Phil, for your perspective and kind remarks. I wanted to try a form that takes advantage of repetition so I chose The Rondeau Prime. Also, I'm not sure if you caught it, but after I posted the poem I changed "mine" to "wine" in L5.

Tony

[Tinker]

Tony this was worth waiting for.    I love the frame.  It allows just enough room to make an impact.  Not too long, not too short.  Of course the whole thing rests on the first phrase of the poem, so important to establish the rhythm and tone in that repeated phrase.  So well done.  

~~Judi 

[tonyv]

Thank you, Judi. I relied on your Rondeau Prime Reference Section topic when crafting this poem. The length of the form met my needs as did its repetition feature, the rentrement.

I added a footnote for the literary allusion in the penultimate line. I must confess that I've never read the book or seen the movie(s)!

Tony

[dr_con]

Nice work Tony! A fascinating image, framed by the title. I saw the individual, felt the conflict.

 

Nicely down!

 

Juris

[tonyv]

Thank you, Juris. It means a lot to me that you found the title and image/content to be well matched. This one has been a long time coming, and I worked hard on that.

Tony

[JoelJosol]

Three key things caught my attention - the contrast of 'there's no one here' and 'I'm not anywhere', the wine metaphor and Bendrix. I have to read a summary of that story to appreciate the reference. However, I missed the link with the title 'Clubland', must be cultural, unless the word 'club' in it paints a reference to alcohol use and so the metaphor.

[tonyv]

Thank you for visiting this, Joel.

11 hours ago, JoelJosol said:

Three key things caught my attention - the contrast of 'there's no one here' and 'I'm not anywhere'

I'm glad you caught that. It's the undercurrent central to the mood, the feel of the poem.

11 hours ago, JoelJosol said:

... the wine metaphor and Bendrix. I have to read a summary of that story to appreciate the reference ..

I never read read the book, and I probably won't, but I probably will watch the movie. My initial uninformed impression is that it's hard to feel bad for that character; he brought it on himself. Anyway, that's where it's at for the speaker.

11 hours ago, JoelJosol said:

... However, I missed the link with the title 'Clubland', must be cultural, unless the word 'club' in it paints a reference to alcohol use and so the metaphor ...

And that would be a reference to nightlife, booze, anything else that may go along with it. Clublife/nightlife, etc.

Tony

[badger11]

I can definitely recommend Green. I think you'd appreciate the prose and themes. 'The Heart of the Matter' is one of my favourite books.

[tonyv]

On 12/22/2017 at 3:02 AM, badger11 said:

I can definitely recommend Green. I think you'd appreciate the prose and themes. 'The Heart of the Matter' is one of my favourite books.

I think I would, too.

Thank you,

Tony